My husband wants to dominate D/S style in sex...?

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My husband and I are separated. He was raised by a domineering mother that treated him less like a son and more like her man (no abuse). Our sex life used to be great. He sometimes looked at porn on the net.

Now he can't seem to get enough of it. I think he is addicted...what do you think?

Re: Domination. He shows up with this bag full of stuff he has been buying over the past 3 months. Clothes pins, cat tails, cuffs, chains, etc. So I experimented with him last night. But I felt no love. It was like he wanted to punish and humiliate me. Like begging, and get on your knees, and ask permission, etc.? No sensuality.

He doesn't get off unless I'm saying some degrading things about myself or he is and I agree. This feels sick and I don't know what to do. I don't mind D/S sometimes but there was no love there.

Do you think he has woman hating issues?
also we're in counseling to repair our marriage. should i bring this up in our sessions or wait till later on when we are more solid?
 
D&S is a fetish. I have an MA in Psychology, and even I think it's a mistake to try to read too much into fetishes. A D&S fetish doesn't mean he hates women, it just means he has a D&S fetish. Some people get really turned on by it and most people don't - that is the definition of a fetish. When someone with Dom fantasies gets into a sexual relationship with a person who has Sub fantasies, it's magically delicious for both of them. The situation here is simply that he is a Dom, but you are not a Sub.
 
yup...
i am in a D/s relationship and it is very loving and totally respectful. my Man doesn't treat me like trash and that's what your "ex" was doing....no way lady! a D/s relationship CAN be fun! what he was doing is totally disrespectful and disgusting!
 
Don't let him use his upbringing excuse for his kinky sex ideas. This has nothing to do with his Mom's treatment of him....it has everything to do with your husband being kinky. Ask him how he would feel about roleplaying? Then be patient/doctor, student/teacher, etc.
 
If you separated you dont have an obligation to give in to his degrading sexual fantasies..do you?Even if you were together..you dont have to have sex with him like that do you if you dont want to?
 
Honestly, it kind of sounds like it. And it's awful that this is the only way that he can get off. I know you must feel awful too because you probably feel that you can't please him without putting yourself down, but its not you that has something wrong, it's definatley him.
 
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