My husband refuses to have sex with me or any intimacy?

[Xandra]

I have been with my husband for over 22 years; married for just over 13 years. He had kidney cancer over two years ago but has a clean bill of health now (THANK GOD). Now he has an addiction to sleeping pills and depression pills and has no sexual desire at ALL. He keeps telling me that he will change and that 'someday we will have sex' but that someday never comes. It has been over 2 years now. I am now 43 and wanted another baby. Since he is not having sex with me this of course cannot happen. I am miserable. When I talk to him about it whether I do it in a caring way or whether I have just had it and get mad he always says the same thing: he just doesn't want to do it, has no interest and maybe 'someday' we will again. He also says he would like to have another child but how can this happen if we do not have sex??? I am desperately unhappy but do not know what to do. I am unemployed right now and have been looking for a job for a few weeks (the sex problem started long before I lost my job). I cry myself to sleep many nights thinking that my sex life and chances of having a baby are over.....I have been a good wife, cared for him when he was sick, been nice to his parents who are intrusive and rude and controlling and have done everything I can to be supportive to him. And now he has decided he needs to take these pills all the time so he can sleep and his attitude is basically 'screw me or my sexual needs or desire to have another child'. I had been dealing with being able to live in a denial-like world but I can't do it anymore and am feeling really, really angry now but of course he just sees me as acting 'crazy' when I cry now about this......I just want to hear how others cope with this kind of issue -- I do not want a divorce -- frankly I cannot afford one now.....I need help/advice on what to say to myself or do to cope and try to have a decent life while living with someone who is like this. Please help me if you have any words of wisdom. I need a 'mantra' or some way to look at my life positively....I have a great child already, always wanted more though am happy with the one.....I just feel like my life is nothing like what I deserve but due to my financial situation I cannot really change anything right now. Simply put I need some survival tips for muddling through with they way things are. I should also note that he does take cialis or viagra but never every day as prescribed and he has no sexual desire -- those pills do NOT create desire -- I think the depression/seroquelmeds/sleeping pills zap his desire and the ED drugs cannot fix that....worse still is that he does not care that I am starting to slide into a bad depression over his rejection....it is all about how HE is feeling or doing and if I express MY feelings he gets angry or makes fun of me or says I am overreacting and that I need to calm down....I find that very insulting, hurtful and very dismissive of my feelings. It is also getting increasingly difficult to act 'cheery and normal" in front of my friends and family who do not know any of this. Sometimes I wish I could run away for a long weekend to unwind but I cannot leave my son or my dog and doing that would just cause more problems.....Help!