My girlfriend is reluctant to have sex with me, any advice?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Carrie H
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Carrie H

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Why dont you tell her the reason for the way you were when you used to have sex wasn't because of her.. Tell her how hot she is and how horny she makes you and that you want to make love to her. Say it was nothing to do ith sex, its just the problems you were having upset and distracted you..
really the key to this is to explain to her. Sit down and say if she doesn't want sex it's fine but talk her through your reasons for why you acted like you did and say you love her even more now you are more open and able to sort things out. Tell her how you want to be with her for a long time and reassure her because she's probably feeling like she isn't as special to you as she is.
 
My girlfriend and I have been having problems lately, and it affected me in the bedroom. I was detached, almost bored, and it really freaked her out. We resolved the problems that caused it, and everything's great. Except that she is still scared of having sex with me again (in case I'm detached again). We never go further than cuddling, and sometimes there's the odd fondle. I told her I understood, becuse I do, but I'm basically asking if there's anything I can do to make her feel more comfortable with me and how I see her. She thought that my detachment meant that I thought she was ugly/fat/boring/not as good as my other friends/exes and she seems to really afraid of experiencing it again. Sex was never important to me, so I'm not trying to get her to have sex with me, I'm trying to make her feel good enough about the state of our relationship and herself to want to be that intimate with me (sex is very important to her.)
My detachment freaked me out a bit too, I didn't know that I was one of those people who sucks in bed when other things go to shit.
 
slap yourself Julien, because as a man, you've really lost it. Detachment?? what you mean by that?? sucks in bed??. you are too emotionally hard on yourself. Instead why don't you try by starting another argument about something else. Then leave. Then come back. Then apologize. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.oh yeh more kissing.. ah finally the Make-up sex. Problem solve.
 
slap yourself Julien, because as a man, you've really lost it. Detachment?? what you mean by that?? sucks in bed??. you are too emotionally hard on yourself. Instead why don't you try by starting another argument about something else. Then leave. Then come back. Then apologize. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.oh yeh more kissing.. ah finally the Make-up sex. Problem solve.
 
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