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Nick D
Guest
...no sex until marriage.? Hi there. My girlfriend and I have been dating steadily for 3 months now. I love her a great deal. We always talk about the future, and about how we want to have children together. She's really special and I could foresee proposing to her in the future. She is definitely someone special. But the other day she hit me with a comment that left me speechless. "I don't want to have sex until we're married. I know too many people who have been hurt by it before being married. This is my promise." Now I know it may seem immature or play into stereotypes, but my heart nearly fell out of my chest when she said this. I totally do not agree. I contemplated leaving her. I love her to death and have plans for the future, but I don't feel that a relationship can continue through such a disagreement. I tell her all the time how I disagree with "her promise." I feel that we disagree on where sex comes in relationship to marriage in terms of love. I feel she is denying herself a human condition; love. We should make love while we're youthful. I don't plan on marrying until I'm finished with college, and have a secure job so that I can provide for a family. I told her I don't mind waiting 6 months until she turns 18, but everyday I think of her promise, and everyday it bugs me. I dont want to set ourselves up for a great cataclysm, but at the same time I feel that it's better to love and lost than never loved at all. I feel that it's unrealistic to wait until marriage, that the only way to do so is to not have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
My current plan is to wait until she is of age, and if she still doesn't love me enough to notice that it upsets me and change, then I will help her meet her unrealistic promise by leaving her. I really hope it never comes to that. Please help. Thanks in advance for any wizened insight.
My current plan is to wait until she is of age, and if she still doesn't love me enough to notice that it upsets me and change, then I will help her meet her unrealistic promise by leaving her. I really hope it never comes to that. Please help. Thanks in advance for any wizened insight.