My first poem - what do you think?

I

ItBeMoi

New member
I've always been interested in poetry and got great grades for it in school. I never wrote a poem before but I'm going through quite a dark period in my life at the moment and I was told writing my emotions in a poem could help. Here is the result;

"I denied my own hearing because I knew it was approaching,
You spoke delicately, it didn't soften the blow,
I had an abundance questions yet answers were scarce,
Let's just be friends you said, I masked all of my emotions,
If I could just hide my reaction until I found solitary,
Maybe then you would not think me weak, I could hide,
After the ordeal, I discovered how to wean myself off you,
Yet you returned and returned, I stayed addicted,
I took pity upon you, like I was the one who did you wrong,
I neglected myself, while you continued to kick me,
Kick me while I was down, I had nothing left,
Yet you still continue to take from me, you bleed me dry."

What do you think, is it okay for a first attempt?
Thanks for the advice MC, I noted it...I'm 19 by the way...
 
you can really feel that this is a personal poem. It is to a particular person. If I could suggest one thing, its that you find a way to add more imagery in your poem and make t more accessible to your reader.
 
Nope. Failure. "If I could just hide my reaction until I found solitary" dont you mean solice? are you stupid? Come back after finishing first grade.
 
It's good. The only problem I see (though I'm not an expert) is that it all flowed really good but the word "kick" kinda jolted my out of the music of it. Maybe you could use a different word like puch or something. Other than that it's great!
Hope this helps!
 
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