My first poem ever so please help me..?

N

Narcissus

New member
The dawn of a morning
creaked in the sky
Hearing its echo
he ventured outside
Out on the porch
observing the blooms
he noticed a flower
with the face of a moon

Trampled down plants
surrounded its land
Left standing firm
with a glare unabashed

Unsettling fears
crept in his ears
Uproot this monster
and break this earth free

Under weak weedy light
with a serrated old knife
he bent to his knees
to kill off his plight
Grazing the blade
along all its sides
a thought trailed his mind
was he doing what’s right?

The shadows of night
swashed back and forth
Almost cloaking the sight
of a corpse on the floor


please help me with the meter, i dont know anything about that kinda stuff
is it good or bad?
 
It is very good and has potential. I loved your first and third segment but the others don't seem to be working into it right. Go back and try to fix it after you read your first part again and see if you can't catch that same feeling of flow you had at the beginning. Very good start.
 
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