J
JimT
Guest
...support for her and her kids? I have made a pretty good living and I have taken very good care of her and her kids 19 and 15 yrs old and brother 37 ( recent move in) we are not kids I am 53 and she is 45, I live in another city and provide a home in the city she lives in, and spend about half my time in both cities. She always seemed to be a bit of a gold digger, I think she is very beautiful but she is no 10 maybe a 6 or 7 but very high maintenance 5ft 2 170 lbs, not really what I would call a trophy wife, but the biggest most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen.
The problem has been going on for about a year, time were a little tight as I am in sales and was in a flat spot when she first said she was unhappy and would leave if she did not get happy, she did sales picked up and so did my income again, but it never returned to what we had between us, now I tell her and show her constantly how very much I love her, how beautiful she is to me when I am there I clean house, make repairs, mow the grass, hang new decor, do my own laundry, ect. We were in councelling and read the book about the 5 launguages of love, hers is gifts and acts of service, so I am very focused on showing her love in the languages she feels loved in.
Now I am what I call an invisible man, not handsom, not ugly, i just kind of blend into the crowd 5ft 9 170 lbs, and she has told me in the past that she is not attracted to me, but that I am the most generous man she has ever met both in and out of the bedroom although it has been a long time since I have heard those words. I am a sensitive and intuative man who feels very deeply, and also get hurt very easily. I have only a few expecations, and that is to love and be loved,open honest relationship, where I feel safe and appreciated, I don't need to be held on pedistal, just show me that I am loved and spend quality time together.
She has become very distant, and lies or doesn't tell the whole story, or hides things to manipulate the outcome that she wanted, she will not pay bills if her kids want anything, and makes a decent living herself, and I expect her to pay the utilities or consumables that are used in the house hold, but I have to bail her out when she over spends on her and her kids ( happens frequently)
Ideally I want to keep this together as I love her so much, we talk every day some times several time a day and sometimes for extended amount of time, butthis past week she just refuses to respond to my "I love you" when we terminate the phone call, as I caught her in another lie, and we had a fight when I called her on it. But if it can not or should not be saved, I need help figuring out how to save my investment in the relationship home ( new furniture and housewares) and the 17K engagement ring, which is why I think she won't break it off as when she was unhappy a yr ago, she was keeping it all when she left, and I feel she does not deserve anything, I am not cheap or uncaring about how she will live, as I pay an ex so she can live,not court ordered, I left her and felt it was the right thing after 29yrs.
Sorry for the length, first time doing this, I have always been able to figure these things out, but I am at a complete loss with this, and hurting doesn't help.
Thanks in advance for any and all advice
The problem has been going on for about a year, time were a little tight as I am in sales and was in a flat spot when she first said she was unhappy and would leave if she did not get happy, she did sales picked up and so did my income again, but it never returned to what we had between us, now I tell her and show her constantly how very much I love her, how beautiful she is to me when I am there I clean house, make repairs, mow the grass, hang new decor, do my own laundry, ect. We were in councelling and read the book about the 5 launguages of love, hers is gifts and acts of service, so I am very focused on showing her love in the languages she feels loved in.
Now I am what I call an invisible man, not handsom, not ugly, i just kind of blend into the crowd 5ft 9 170 lbs, and she has told me in the past that she is not attracted to me, but that I am the most generous man she has ever met both in and out of the bedroom although it has been a long time since I have heard those words. I am a sensitive and intuative man who feels very deeply, and also get hurt very easily. I have only a few expecations, and that is to love and be loved,open honest relationship, where I feel safe and appreciated, I don't need to be held on pedistal, just show me that I am loved and spend quality time together.
She has become very distant, and lies or doesn't tell the whole story, or hides things to manipulate the outcome that she wanted, she will not pay bills if her kids want anything, and makes a decent living herself, and I expect her to pay the utilities or consumables that are used in the house hold, but I have to bail her out when she over spends on her and her kids ( happens frequently)
Ideally I want to keep this together as I love her so much, we talk every day some times several time a day and sometimes for extended amount of time, butthis past week she just refuses to respond to my "I love you" when we terminate the phone call, as I caught her in another lie, and we had a fight when I called her on it. But if it can not or should not be saved, I need help figuring out how to save my investment in the relationship home ( new furniture and housewares) and the 17K engagement ring, which is why I think she won't break it off as when she was unhappy a yr ago, she was keeping it all when she left, and I feel she does not deserve anything, I am not cheap or uncaring about how she will live, as I pay an ex so she can live,not court ordered, I left her and felt it was the right thing after 29yrs.
Sorry for the length, first time doing this, I have always been able to figure these things out, but I am at a complete loss with this, and hurting doesn't help.
Thanks in advance for any and all advice