My fiance has had sex with other women who 'just jumped him, ready in 2 seconds',...

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Jill M

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...doesn't understand foreplay? My fiance never really does anything 'special' to get me in the mood and doesn't give much foreplay. Hesays it is too much work to get me ready. I have talked to him about this and told him it's a scientific fact that women need at least 17min of foreplay. He seemed in shock and said 'really? Not the women I've been with.' He said he has been with other women and THEY actually went after him and jumped him and were ready to go in 2 seconds and they told him that just the sound of his voice turned him on. Ok, so the problem now is, he doesn't know or understand how to please me in bed and he thinks I thinks I have a low sex drive because I need foreplay and 'warming up' and sex with me is just way too much work and tiring. He really doesn't GET the importance of foreplay for me, and I am afraid he never will. He is really bad in bed and when it comes to pleasing me. It makes me not want to marry him. He thinks I am 'weird' or something for needing foreplay and de-stressing before sex(He hasn't said this, but this is how he makes me feel.) How can I resolve this with him? (The road block is that other women he has been with weren't like this, so he doesn't get it.) It seems as if he doesn't want to put the effort into pleasing me and it is depressing to me.
 
Here is the deal, you are trying to change him to suit you, and he is trying to change you to be like the other women he has been with.
This is not about love and respect it is ALL about selfishness and sex.
It is about who controls who and make the other person change to please him or her.
If you had dated without sex, you'd have both found out how selfish you both were without ever having sex.The way it is going now, you'll be divorced in less than 5 years if you do marry.Get some counseling.Best yet, you both need to move on since you are going to base your relationship on sex and not love and respect, then find someone who pleases you at least.Think about it.
 
He sounds like a selfish lover ..............

Seriously you need to get that part of your relationship sorted out, otherwise you will end up unhappy in your marriage. It will cause problems later on.
 
Don't marry him! If pleasing you and meeting your needs is "too much work" he isn't much of a man.

If it's bad now keep in mind this is the best it's ever going to be...can you live with this kind of selfishness the rest of your life?
 
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