H
Hannah W
Guest
...I have a ton of questions!? My FIL has always been a stubborn, difficult, and demanding person. It is getting worse. He won't admit there is a problem, however, in the recent months, he's become paranoid, easily angered, easily disoriented, has problems finding the right words, and becomes strongly opinionated on things in the opposite way he's always felt. No one in the family wants to discuss the issue, and I'm the one who has had to raise the important conversations about safety around my son (ie, getting rid of the gun in the house, driving, etc.)
There are several parts to my question:
- He seemed to be stable, and suddenly deteriorating. Is this normal? Will he become stable again?
- His physical health is also deteriorating. Is this normal?
- We honestly didn't think he'd live very long at the beginning of this due to his health problems, but he's lived for 5 years. How much worse can it get before he passes?
- How can we start the conversation about the future if my FIL and MIL don't want to discuss it, and are in denial?
- Is there a resource out there that can assist her?
Here is a little more detail:
He's not very advanced in the dementia. He is able to get around some, knows who we are etc. Unfortunately, he's in the limbo of being well enough to be at home, but not well enough to care for himself. My MIL has seemed to age 3x the normal rate in the last 5 years. She is not yet 60, but has the health issues of a much much older person. We don't live close by to help out. He has one child left he hasn't alienated, and that child wants to help -- but not really be involved too much. I don't blame her. He was an ass when he was healthy, and his rude behavior certainly has gotten worse with the dementia.
There are several parts to my question:
- He seemed to be stable, and suddenly deteriorating. Is this normal? Will he become stable again?
- His physical health is also deteriorating. Is this normal?
- We honestly didn't think he'd live very long at the beginning of this due to his health problems, but he's lived for 5 years. How much worse can it get before he passes?
- How can we start the conversation about the future if my FIL and MIL don't want to discuss it, and are in denial?
- Is there a resource out there that can assist her?
Here is a little more detail:
He's not very advanced in the dementia. He is able to get around some, knows who we are etc. Unfortunately, he's in the limbo of being well enough to be at home, but not well enough to care for himself. My MIL has seemed to age 3x the normal rate in the last 5 years. She is not yet 60, but has the health issues of a much much older person. We don't live close by to help out. He has one child left he hasn't alienated, and that child wants to help -- but not really be involved too much. I don't blame her. He was an ass when he was healthy, and his rude behavior certainly has gotten worse with the dementia.