~A Musician's Dream~
New member
My boyfriend of almost two years told me that I'm afraid of intimacy. He said he don't know how I think a relationship will last without any intimacy, so I can run from it all I want and that he's here for me always and forever. This all started last night. We were watching a movie and he wanted us to be intimate after the movie. I said i was going to rest up and ended up going to sleep. He got mad cause for a month we haven't spent anytime together because of school, his job, and our practicing for competitions and such. We stayed up till almost 6:00 in the morning saturday waiting for one of the roommates to go to sleep so we could have some alone time. Add that and I was due for about 12 straight hours of sleep.
I said I wanted to stay up but was too tired. But he said if I really wanted to, I would of did it anyway regardless of it and then told me to put myself in his shoes. I would have been mad for a little while, but I would be happy just to be with him in any shape or form. He saying I'm afraid of intimacy. But he's hurt me twice in about 5 months. I found texts on his phone twice that were inappropriate. The first time was to one of his exes, "reliving" the past with each other about very intimate stuff. The second time was to one of my friends that had crossed the band with me, asking him if he could go down on them. And that was two weeks ago. I found out about two months ago that he used to be bicurious. All of this stuff coming to the surface has made me wary of getting close to him again. Cause this hurts me and it makes me not wanna open up no more, not as easily as it was before.I came to him pure as heaven. No past, no exes, no curiousity, no emotional issues, nothing. It took me a whole year to fully open up to him and then his past came back twice and caused me to close up. Am I now afraid of intimacy because of his past and what he's done recently?
I said I wanted to stay up but was too tired. But he said if I really wanted to, I would of did it anyway regardless of it and then told me to put myself in his shoes. I would have been mad for a little while, but I would be happy just to be with him in any shape or form. He saying I'm afraid of intimacy. But he's hurt me twice in about 5 months. I found texts on his phone twice that were inappropriate. The first time was to one of his exes, "reliving" the past with each other about very intimate stuff. The second time was to one of my friends that had crossed the band with me, asking him if he could go down on them. And that was two weeks ago. I found out about two months ago that he used to be bicurious. All of this stuff coming to the surface has made me wary of getting close to him again. Cause this hurts me and it makes me not wanna open up no more, not as easily as it was before.I came to him pure as heaven. No past, no exes, no curiousity, no emotional issues, nothing. It took me a whole year to fully open up to him and then his past came back twice and caused me to close up. Am I now afraid of intimacy because of his past and what he's done recently?