My almost-sonnet...? c/c this repost please?

S

Silent not Ignorant.

New member
This was up about 5 minutes before being deleted (I was annoyed obviously but then again that is a personal record ;) )


Weaving his body rhythmically he
Entices the ever famished Goddess,
Corrupting hunger and awakening
A primal lust amidst the Autumn leaves.
The courtship is met by cannibal eyes,
Watchful of her worshipper she proceeds,
Taking the practised steps of instinctive
Intimacy, the green Goddess answers.

Hesitant, striking legs spark a passion
Igniting an archaic yearning, the
Masochist bows to worship the altar
Sacrificing one for the hundreds.
The cannibal rears her head to take his,
This mantis, satiated at last, prays.
 
Very bold. Some secret wrath of the author maybe in there? Excellent advanced vocabulary. A Masochist with a capital M? Is he some kind of deity? If you are practicing to express oracles, prepare me 1 hour before to decode. As a priestess you marvel. I am used to this style of yours, every now and then, attack the meanings and finish weavings. Keep this, very good. Who the God of the mantis is, Pluto? (Arrogant : the green Goddess!!!!) Many Questions, Very Good.
 
Your almost sonnet is good by subject and theme but it still needs lots of new things! It is not rhyming. Of course I know it is not done. i am eager to read it when it's done. Keep working on it.
 
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