PanicSuiteheart
New member
So I haz this nightmare a few weeks ago that I meant to write about earlier but didn't. In it there's a way the government (henceforth "They") turns people into happy, complacent citizens by sort of lobotomizing them. They just take out a small part of the brain, I guess the rebellion and free-thought part, and suddenly the person in question is this incredibly bland, I-love-my-country, the-government-is-my-friend sort of... robotic sheep person thingie. They're not stupid and drooly, like "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," but more kind of like in 1984 where the kids will turn in their own parents and no one has any real feelings anymore. You know the ones.
So almost everyone's been semi-lobotomized by the time I come into the dream (and I only know the back-story in the way that you just know it automatically when you're dreaming) and there aren't many people left who think for themselves, much less want to rebel and overthrow the oppressors. Everything's incredibly buttoned-down and there are only a few real thinkers left, and there's this feeling that once They manage to get the few that remain, They'll be turning to the non-threatening people who are already self-lobotomized (ie - almost everyone I've actually met in the current real world reality) and doing them just so 100% of everyone will be completely controlled. In fact They may even plan on doing it to themselves afterwards, who knows? I didn't get to that part of the dream.
The weird thing is that the police and military, and I'm sure this says something about my deep hatred for those people, are NOT lobotomized. They're rounding up their own fellow citizens and mutilating them just because they think it's the right thing to do, for everyone's protection you know, and when they're done with everyone else they're so for sure going to volunteer themselves for this procedure. Because that's what they would do in real life. XP
So anyway, I guess I've been hanging out with a group of non-lobotomized people, sort of existing under the radar for a while, and one of them is my boyfriend in real life, whom we'll call Neil. Which isn't his name. But he likes it. I dunno if Neil and I and the other people are actually planning some kind of revolution or just planning to live our lives secretly thinking for ourselves in what's left of the world, but I guess we're making some mischief because there's some kind of fire and They start chasing us.
There's a long, protracted chase scene and some people get shot and run over and I think there's a tank and eventually They get us and throw us into a prison/brainwash/lobotomizing facility. They're going to lobotomize us and I'm freaking out because this is my worst nightmare (which is why I'm having a nightmare about it), and Neil's creating such a ruckus and managing to kill and wound so many cops and shit that They decide not to wait and do him right away. Which I gotta give kudos to my brain for, because them doing him is worse than them doing me. :/ It's really good at inventive nightmares, is my brain, which I've got a long history of. But this is, as the title says, the mother of ALL nightmares.
They force him into the next room and shut him in, and I'm stuck with the rest of the "rebels" in my room, apart from him, which is the worst thing I can imagine... but I can see through into the other room because there's a glass window. It's all bright-white hospital-y, and there's a table in the middle with straps and doctors standing all around. Neil's fighting them the whole time and I think I managed to get the door open or break the glass but some more security people come out to hold me.
He's fighting them the whole time as they fit him in and strap him down, saying that even if they take out a piece of his brain it won't work because he'll still be the same just by sheer strength of will. (Which I think is basically what he'd say in real life.) He's cursing them and telling them to do their stupid lobotomy and after he'll destroy them all, and I think at this point in the dream I'm feeling a little relieved, thinking that maybe it wouldn't actually do anything to him, because afterwards he'll come out okay and kill them all and we'll escape.
But then he looks at me as they strap him down, in the middle of his cursing and struggling, and I can see in his eyes that he's afraid. I can see then that he knows he WILL be changed if they take out his brain piece, and it's... horrible. I don't even have a big enough adjective. He's never been afraid of anything, not really. (And some pretty amazingly awful shit has happened to us, repeatedly, that maybe I'll go into another day.) So it's scary when he's scared. I hope I never see that face in real life.
The table has arching over the middle some kind of computer thingie like something out of "Star Trek, which goes over his stomach as they strap him down and I guess hooks into his biological information or something. When they lock him in he finally stops fighting, and his eyes get real intense and his body gets all stiff, and while they're getting their instruments ready he suddenly goes limp and the screen over him says "Patient Deceased." And they're all freaked out because they don't know how he did it, but I know that he just willed himself to die because he'd rather that than come out like a complacent zombie.
Of course I'm crying and freaking out, trying to get to his body because I don't want them to have it, and then the screen flickers and it says "I love you" and it's him sending the message to me even though he's dead. And I don't know what to do then because I can't go on without him, not in any world but certainly not this one where everything's so terrible that even if I escaped it's a nightmare, and I'm not so sure I can will myself dead like he could so what I'm left with is getting lobotomized and forgetting that he was even important enough to die for. Which is, you know... horrible.
And that's when I woke up with a sort of half-sob, because I was crying so hard in the dream that it carried over. I hate that. But he was right there, sleeping next to me, so I cried like a baby and woke him up and told him the dream while and he hugged me and said, "It's okay, you know they'd never get me."
So. Glad that's over. Talk about symbolism and crap, huh?
So almost everyone's been semi-lobotomized by the time I come into the dream (and I only know the back-story in the way that you just know it automatically when you're dreaming) and there aren't many people left who think for themselves, much less want to rebel and overthrow the oppressors. Everything's incredibly buttoned-down and there are only a few real thinkers left, and there's this feeling that once They manage to get the few that remain, They'll be turning to the non-threatening people who are already self-lobotomized (ie - almost everyone I've actually met in the current real world reality) and doing them just so 100% of everyone will be completely controlled. In fact They may even plan on doing it to themselves afterwards, who knows? I didn't get to that part of the dream.
The weird thing is that the police and military, and I'm sure this says something about my deep hatred for those people, are NOT lobotomized. They're rounding up their own fellow citizens and mutilating them just because they think it's the right thing to do, for everyone's protection you know, and when they're done with everyone else they're so for sure going to volunteer themselves for this procedure. Because that's what they would do in real life. XP
So anyway, I guess I've been hanging out with a group of non-lobotomized people, sort of existing under the radar for a while, and one of them is my boyfriend in real life, whom we'll call Neil. Which isn't his name. But he likes it. I dunno if Neil and I and the other people are actually planning some kind of revolution or just planning to live our lives secretly thinking for ourselves in what's left of the world, but I guess we're making some mischief because there's some kind of fire and They start chasing us.
There's a long, protracted chase scene and some people get shot and run over and I think there's a tank and eventually They get us and throw us into a prison/brainwash/lobotomizing facility. They're going to lobotomize us and I'm freaking out because this is my worst nightmare (which is why I'm having a nightmare about it), and Neil's creating such a ruckus and managing to kill and wound so many cops and shit that They decide not to wait and do him right away. Which I gotta give kudos to my brain for, because them doing him is worse than them doing me. :/ It's really good at inventive nightmares, is my brain, which I've got a long history of. But this is, as the title says, the mother of ALL nightmares.
They force him into the next room and shut him in, and I'm stuck with the rest of the "rebels" in my room, apart from him, which is the worst thing I can imagine... but I can see through into the other room because there's a glass window. It's all bright-white hospital-y, and there's a table in the middle with straps and doctors standing all around. Neil's fighting them the whole time and I think I managed to get the door open or break the glass but some more security people come out to hold me.
He's fighting them the whole time as they fit him in and strap him down, saying that even if they take out a piece of his brain it won't work because he'll still be the same just by sheer strength of will. (Which I think is basically what he'd say in real life.) He's cursing them and telling them to do their stupid lobotomy and after he'll destroy them all, and I think at this point in the dream I'm feeling a little relieved, thinking that maybe it wouldn't actually do anything to him, because afterwards he'll come out okay and kill them all and we'll escape.
But then he looks at me as they strap him down, in the middle of his cursing and struggling, and I can see in his eyes that he's afraid. I can see then that he knows he WILL be changed if they take out his brain piece, and it's... horrible. I don't even have a big enough adjective. He's never been afraid of anything, not really. (And some pretty amazingly awful shit has happened to us, repeatedly, that maybe I'll go into another day.) So it's scary when he's scared. I hope I never see that face in real life.
The table has arching over the middle some kind of computer thingie like something out of "Star Trek, which goes over his stomach as they strap him down and I guess hooks into his biological information or something. When they lock him in he finally stops fighting, and his eyes get real intense and his body gets all stiff, and while they're getting their instruments ready he suddenly goes limp and the screen over him says "Patient Deceased." And they're all freaked out because they don't know how he did it, but I know that he just willed himself to die because he'd rather that than come out like a complacent zombie.
Of course I'm crying and freaking out, trying to get to his body because I don't want them to have it, and then the screen flickers and it says "I love you" and it's him sending the message to me even though he's dead. And I don't know what to do then because I can't go on without him, not in any world but certainly not this one where everything's so terrible that even if I escaped it's a nightmare, and I'm not so sure I can will myself dead like he could so what I'm left with is getting lobotomized and forgetting that he was even important enough to die for. Which is, you know... horrible.
And that's when I woke up with a sort of half-sob, because I was crying so hard in the dream that it carried over. I hate that. But he was right there, sleeping next to me, so I cried like a baby and woke him up and told him the dream while and he hugged me and said, "It's okay, you know they'd never get me."
So. Glad that's over. Talk about symbolism and crap, huh?