I love my mother-in-law. She's a very sweet lady with nothing but good intentions. However, sometimes it feels as though she's jealous that I'm close to my mom. The thing is: she's very close to her own daughter, so it makes me wonder why she's jealous that I have that same relationship with my mom.
For example, on my birthday, I was given the choice to do whatever I wanted on that day. So, I decided to go out to eat with my hubby and then head over to my parents house for cake. My mother-in-law was extremely upset that I chose to do that and that she didn't get to see me on my birthday. Even though we were already scheduled to go out to dinner that same weekend with her, my father-in-law, sister-in-law and her family to celebrate.
Same thing when I got married about a year ago. My hubby and I were paying for the majority of the wedding, but my mom said she would buy me my wedding dress. So, we did a whole mother/daughter day and we found my dream wedding dress. Again, my mother-in-law was upset that she didn't get to go. Actually, right as I got engaged, my MIL even offered to take me out of state to shop at this place she absolutely loved. It didn't even dawn on her that my own mother should probably be there with me when I found my wedding dress.
I know I'm lucky to have such a caring mother-in-law, I should be happy she wants to get close to me...yadda, yadda, yadda. I know all this, so I'm not really looking for that type of answer. I'm looking for advice on how I can help her get use to the fact that I'm close with my mom and nothing will change that. I do go out with my MIL one-on-one ever so often, but it's like that's not enough for her. I'm just looking for a friend in her, not a replacement for my own mom. I just think she is expecting too much from me. What can I do or say? I'm nervous this will escalate when my hubby and I have a baby and start our family some day. My hubby listens to my concerns, but doesn't know what to say or do either. Any thoughts?
For example, on my birthday, I was given the choice to do whatever I wanted on that day. So, I decided to go out to eat with my hubby and then head over to my parents house for cake. My mother-in-law was extremely upset that I chose to do that and that she didn't get to see me on my birthday. Even though we were already scheduled to go out to dinner that same weekend with her, my father-in-law, sister-in-law and her family to celebrate.
Same thing when I got married about a year ago. My hubby and I were paying for the majority of the wedding, but my mom said she would buy me my wedding dress. So, we did a whole mother/daughter day and we found my dream wedding dress. Again, my mother-in-law was upset that she didn't get to go. Actually, right as I got engaged, my MIL even offered to take me out of state to shop at this place she absolutely loved. It didn't even dawn on her that my own mother should probably be there with me when I found my wedding dress.
I know I'm lucky to have such a caring mother-in-law, I should be happy she wants to get close to me...yadda, yadda, yadda. I know all this, so I'm not really looking for that type of answer. I'm looking for advice on how I can help her get use to the fact that I'm close with my mom and nothing will change that. I do go out with my MIL one-on-one ever so often, but it's like that's not enough for her. I'm just looking for a friend in her, not a replacement for my own mom. I just think she is expecting too much from me. What can I do or say? I'm nervous this will escalate when my hubby and I have a baby and start our family some day. My hubby listens to my concerns, but doesn't know what to say or do either. Any thoughts?