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My mother and sister in law want to come to Canada from a poor country. It is possible only if I agree to sponsor them with my husband. We don’t get along very much with mother in law, she is tough woman, plus she doesn’t understand some things I am used to and I feel she always judges me. For example, in her country it is totally okay for mother in law to live with a couple (for the rest of the life), and it is also not okay to complain about anything, i.e. a woman should be okay with everything others decided (and I’m totally opposite
). I value my privacy, and I’m scared that for financial reasons we will end up living in the same house with my mother & sister in law. Also, my mother in law is over protective her 19 y.o daughter, and that is why she is very naïve, lazy girl. She dropped out of school, and spends all day at the cafes with friends.
To be perfectly honest, I’m afraid that our lives & relationship with my husband will change a lot when they come here. I immigrated to Canada by myself when I was 19 and since then I had no family by my side except for my husband (b/f back then); I’m used to not sharing him with anybody. We got married in his country, and two days after the wedding he chose to share a hotel room with his mother & sister, and I had to sleep with my family in his relatives’ condo. He says there is nothing wrong in that, since he sees his mother rarely.
My husband loves them very much (he loves me a lot too
), and we talk a lot about them coming to Canada. We agreed that his sister should finish high school before we start the immigration process, but she could not care less. His mother begs him to take at least sister here and to look after her. I feel I’m selfish and insensitive to other people’s needs, but why should I take 10 year responsibility (immigration rule) for sister who doesn’t care about her own life, and I’m 25 y.o and I just want to live my life. I’ve offered different options, including sending money monthly and buying a good apartment for them back home, but none seems to please them, they are just obsessed with coming here.
Am I wrong to feel this way? Do I just give up and sign the papers? Maybe I worry too much and it is not such a horrible thing to have mother in law around? Did anyone have similar experiences?
). I value my privacy, and I’m scared that for financial reasons we will end up living in the same house with my mother & sister in law. Also, my mother in law is over protective her 19 y.o daughter, and that is why she is very naïve, lazy girl. She dropped out of school, and spends all day at the cafes with friends. To be perfectly honest, I’m afraid that our lives & relationship with my husband will change a lot when they come here. I immigrated to Canada by myself when I was 19 and since then I had no family by my side except for my husband (b/f back then); I’m used to not sharing him with anybody. We got married in his country, and two days after the wedding he chose to share a hotel room with his mother & sister, and I had to sleep with my family in his relatives’ condo. He says there is nothing wrong in that, since he sees his mother rarely.
My husband loves them very much (he loves me a lot too
), and we talk a lot about them coming to Canada. We agreed that his sister should finish high school before we start the immigration process, but she could not care less. His mother begs him to take at least sister here and to look after her. I feel I’m selfish and insensitive to other people’s needs, but why should I take 10 year responsibility (immigration rule) for sister who doesn’t care about her own life, and I’m 25 y.o and I just want to live my life. I’ve offered different options, including sending money monthly and buying a good apartment for them back home, but none seems to please them, they are just obsessed with coming here. Am I wrong to feel this way? Do I just give up and sign the papers? Maybe I worry too much and it is not such a horrible thing to have mother in law around? Did anyone have similar experiences?