M
mers7479
Guest
Hello all this is my first post here although I have read several. I am 31yrs old...female. I really don't know where to start either... My dad was a heavy smoker and had a heart attack at age 47 (this was almost three yrs ago). He survived and is doing well. I knew already at this point that I had high cholesterol and I am also a smoker. A few months after his attack I started having regular chest pains and just general feelings of unease. I went to the doc and she sent me for a echo stress test and then verified my high cholesterol. Everything with my heart was fine and I started statins when diet did not lower my cholesterol. I was also taking birth control and smoking and became paranoid when I turned 30 that I would have clots or whatever because of the birth control pills so I stopped taking them. I felt good for awhile. I knew my heart was fine and my cholesterol was being treated, my mind was at ease. I became pregnant and had to stop. I had a rough pregnancy with placenta previa and bed rest and such...I felt anxious alot. After his birth it has just gotten so much worse. It is to the point that I don't want to die but I don't want to live like this either. I constantly feel that I will be dead soon and am terrified that it will be painful. I have been to the er twice in recent weeks once with what I was sure was a blood clot and next with what I thought was a heart attack. Everything was fine with me physically of course. Every little thing turns into something serious....my throat hurts so I have throat cancer....new mole skin cancer..you get the picture...some times I am fine but its usually like this. I don't have insurance until January so I can't go to doc until then and I don't know what to do but this is ruining my marriage and my life. I can quit smoking but after a few days I feel suicidal am so depressed and can't cope.every symptom I Google and can't stop myself. I also realize that most of these thoughts/feelings are unrealistic but I can't stop them. Please help...