I have been using Mindfulness to help me deal with Chronic illness and teen trauma. Before the age of 14 I was a very happy child.
I have found Meditation helpful. But I'm confused to what I am supposed to be feeling when I Meditate. I think it inhibits me from going further.
Almost always when I stop my mind chatter, I have a moment of peace. It is always followed by a feeling from childhood. It overwhelms me and fills me with great happiness. But it also confuses me because people write that you should not live in the past or future but in the now.
I want to clarify that's it's not that I'm dwelling of past experiences, but a little while after I lay down my thoughts a fleeting feeling of peace comes across me and it is immediately followed by a feeling that I'm 5 again sitting in my backyard , then I might go back to my breath again and again a feeling comes over me that I'm 10 and sitting in my living room with my family around me.
It's just that nobody talks about this kind of experience when meditating..least not in any books that I've read. And since they talk about "the now" so much it confuses me. Because I'm feeling peace and then this overwhelming feeling of being my childhood self.
I'm thinking this might have to do with going through a depression for a long time. The only peaceful feelings I know stem from early childhood. Maybe I haven't felt these feeling since that time so they remind me of that time?
I just want to know what others that Meditate think. I would love to know if anyone ever experienced anything similar.
I have found Meditation helpful. But I'm confused to what I am supposed to be feeling when I Meditate. I think it inhibits me from going further.
Almost always when I stop my mind chatter, I have a moment of peace. It is always followed by a feeling from childhood. It overwhelms me and fills me with great happiness. But it also confuses me because people write that you should not live in the past or future but in the now.
I want to clarify that's it's not that I'm dwelling of past experiences, but a little while after I lay down my thoughts a fleeting feeling of peace comes across me and it is immediately followed by a feeling that I'm 5 again sitting in my backyard , then I might go back to my breath again and again a feeling comes over me that I'm 10 and sitting in my living room with my family around me.
It's just that nobody talks about this kind of experience when meditating..least not in any books that I've read. And since they talk about "the now" so much it confuses me. Because I'm feeling peace and then this overwhelming feeling of being my childhood self.
I'm thinking this might have to do with going through a depression for a long time. The only peaceful feelings I know stem from early childhood. Maybe I haven't felt these feeling since that time so they remind me of that time?
I just want to know what others that Meditate think. I would love to know if anyone ever experienced anything similar.