military (ex)boyfriend?

[emansgirl17]

i was in a relationship with a guy in the military starting back in april of this year. i'd known him for 4 years prior to that, and though it was long distance, i was always there for him throughout his military career. back in april, he flew out to see me, and we knew from right then and there that we wanted something more than just dating. we talked about me moving in with him when he came home from his deployment, and even spoke of marriage. i flew out to see him off to his first deployment back in may, (he was deployed to alabama for a month, and from there was leaving to iraq) while in alabama, he got the news that a girl he had a one night stand with prior to comming to see me, was now pregnant, and telling him he was the father. at first, i was shocked, as a senior in highschool i didnt know how i was going to handle a baby. none the less, i was willing to stick by his side through the deployment, and the birth of his first child. hes always been the kind of guy who was roaring to have a family of his own, and to my suprise, he was actually EXCITED about having a baby!! he admitted that it wasnt happening the way he wanted it too, but still, was overjoyed. it hurt me a little to see him as excited as he was, because i wouldnt have expected him to get so excited, so quick, over a child that hes not even 100% sure was his yet. some confrontation came between my family and his, and though i was willing to stick by his side, he just simply walked away. obviously i was crushed. i couldnt understand how someone could tell you how much they love you, and want to marry you, one minute, and have you be willing to be there for them through one of the hardest things they're going to have to go through, and just simply walk away from it all. i've always been very close with his mother, and though him and i stopped talking, his mom and i continued to talk almost every day. there were days i would talk to her on the phone and she would just cry, and tell me how much she loved me, and wished it was me having his baby, instead of some random girl. (even tho none of us wanted me to be having a baby at this point in my life, you get the idea). within the past month or so, i've talked to him a few times, and it has left me completly dumbfounded. first off, i sent him a HUGE care package back in august, and then another care package/birthday present at the beginning of this month. he greatly appreciated them, and promised to write, but i've yet to get anything. we occasionally talk over AIM, and once we started talking again, he would talk about how much hes glad we're talking again, and glad i've stuck by his side, and how much he wants us to be together when he gets home, but that has slowly dwindled too. im not stupid, i understand that hes busy, and IN IRAQ and all, but i've looked on his myspace, and read comments from his ex-fiance, saying how she was glad to get his phonecalls, and stuff like that. to where i dont understand how he can call her, but i dont even get an occasional email anymore. it doesnt help that his mom continues to tell me how much she truely believes him and i are going to end up together, and how she knows how much he loves, and cares about me, because i guess its giving me a feeling of false hope. i really dont think theres anything going on between him and his ex. he broke off the engagement because he started to realize that with her already having a kid, she was really turning into a gold-digger. and now that shes got ANOTHER kid...i hope he still see's this. his mom has re-assured me that hes told her how much he has no interest in his ex, and how hes just being friendly because shes someone he can talk to about all of the baby stuff going on, but it still hurts to think that hes going to her, instead of me.

i dont know how much of a question this is, i guess its me getting things off my chest, and asking for opinions?