Mike's Open Apology

M

Mike S

New member
To all the good people on this board. I'm very sorry for my behavior. It was selfish of me to cause the concern I did. I fell hard to this addiction. It's almost 2am Pacific time & I'm hanging in there. I'm sick but I'm still here. Probably won't sleep tonight but I can deal with that. I pray you all never have to worry about me again. You're all good people & I feel blessed that I have you all to talk to. Please do whatever is necessry not to relapse the way I have. I hope you can forgive me. With Love, Mike
 
Hooray....you're OK!! Thank goodness for that....Id vowed not to move an inch from my laptop till I knew you were OK. How are you feeling now? What have you done with the rest of the pills? If you cant trust yourself its probably a good idea to get rid of them,perhaps? I know that a hard deal , but maybe for the best.
Listen , Mike , please dont feel like you have to say sorry. If I had to do that each time I'd slipped I would be constantly apologising! hahaha! We are here to support each other in times of need and crisis , not to lay on a guilt trip whenever someone fails. At least you felt like you could be honest and put it out there. You have not failed us. You have to pick up the struggle.If you want to know how Im doing Im going to post an update after this so please read.
Have you managed to eat anything? Might help a bit....especially if you took all those tablets on an empty stomach. I know thats easy for me to say and not so easy for you to do...but could you maybe try something small that you know wont trigger a binge?
So glad you posted.
love to you...your friend.....CC XOXOX
 
Thanks CC for responding. How are you doing ? Good I hope. I'll write some more later. Hopefully I'll be feeling better. Please do the best you can. You're in my thoughts & I'm here for you. Love, Mike
 
Mike --I have learned that there are very few of us that dont slip up a few times during this crazy battle. We dont like to say this because we feel that it "ALLOWS" us a slip up or condone the behavior. We have to remeraber how bad we felt when we did it and how the drug really wasnt the same because of the guilt felt for the action. I have had 5-6 relapses in the last 6 years. each time i learn more and more. This last time I made it 8 months clean! I feel that this time I am on the right road and really know how to stay clean (i am tapering right now off oxy). Dont beat yourself up --we are all as one on this board.

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No one would ever judge you...we are here to give you love and support! That is what is so great about these boarRAB....we all have the same struggles! Please don't beat yourself up, it only makes things worse. As I read this back makes me realize I should take some of my own advice!!update is soon please!!!
Crocheting
 
The only thing that matters to me right now is that you are okay!

Do you understand????? We care!!!! You may not have others in your life that care BUT WE DO. We want you to be okay. Relapse we can deal with... Your death we can't!

Mike, stop apologizing to us and start to love yourself like we do. I am not angry with you or upset... I am just relieved you are okay.

Hang in there buddy and keep updating us okay!!!! I am sending you a HUGE hug of healing.
XOXOOXOXX
 
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