Mental meltdown...may not be on for a few days

R

robm425

New member
I may not be on for a short while. I am inches away from having a total breakdown.

I have no access to psychological help at the moment so i am pretty fucked.

Today, while I was crying, my tears were hotter than they have been in years. They literally hurt my face. Not a good sign.

No, I'm not fucking leaving for months, I'm here to stay you asshats. I may just be gone for a few days due to sadness.

If it weren't for Lithium, I would be in full blown depression right now, if this medicine never existed, I would have killed myself in January or February.

The upshot is that for me, sadness is the greatest emotion in the world. I'm bipolar and I have felt sadness maybe seven times in my life.

That emotion doesn't exist because I'm bipolar. I go to full blown depression within seconds of hearing something saddening.

And it's kinda weird, whenever I get sad, I get this weird endorphin rush, probobly because I know I'm sane and stable and that's such a good fucking feeling.

Anyway, I'll try to be on. If I don't reply to any arguments, don't be alarmed. I'm not pussying out, my bullshit tank is full and I am unable to empty it.
 
Definitely keep on the meds, Descent.

I hope everything gets better. Find an outlet. That always helps. Find someone to talk to as well. Anything helps.

Just don't let it get too deep under your skin, okay?
 
Maybe you ought to do something like run your ass off. When you feel frustrated as hell and upset as you do so often, there is one thing you need to realize, there IS NO MAGIC PILL that cures all. Sure there are things you can take that help but there is nothing more therapeudic than throwing your IPod on and just running wherever or for however long it takes for you to feel better. Put on some of your favorite "ANGRY" music and just go man......
Sitting in a house behind a computer looking for people to tell you everything will be ok isnt therapeudic......SERIOUSLY, try it a few times, and I don't want to hear any BS excuses about how you have bad knees etc....LAME...you're too young for that...just try it and then see how ya feel.
 
that was I was going to say. or just hit a sandbag..to youre angrymusic.
I've had problems with anger, and it helps when you get it all out in one time.
Youll get better :hug2:
 
Are you crying because you didn't get your way? If you want my dime store psych advice, your biggest problem is a lack of personal responsibility. You get everything handed to you, and you expect everything. Yes, I know, you have been diagnosed with asperegers, bipolar, manic depressive, and put in the hospital because you were ' suicidal' and a host of other problems.

Except that, bipolar is not being upset because you didn't get your way, it is swinging from one extreme to the other with no provocation. I am bipolar, and I have been put in the loony bin too.

No one is responsible for your behaviour except you.

No one is responsible for your life except you.

No one is going to change your life except you.

So stop being a lazy cry baby and making huge issues where there is only a small problem. Grow up, get some balls, go out on your own. get a job, make your own way. Millions of people do that all the time. Hell, I did that when I was 13. So sorry if I seem crass, its not for a lack of caring, but I absolutely refuse to give sympathy where the situation does not call for it. You can do better than this decent, you just need to stop thinking you are the way you are because some doctor gave you an excuse to be that way, and start being who you want to be.
 
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