Mental Health: Why should I continue to choose life? What to do?

[Michael]

I have lost interest in everything, it is almost like I have lost the ability to find reason behind any of my actions. I am on here in the hope that someone will be able to tell me what I can do. I tried to force my interest and go to college, but unable to do so, I have failed all of my classes. Nothing in this existance seems to matter, I am not contemplating suicide, I have attempted it before, and it always ends up with me in some mental institution with medicine that doesn't help or hurt. I have tried every medication out there, (probably not in reality, but I have been on many over the years) and none will help, adderall allows me to exert myself in both mental and physical tasks, but it does not fix anything. I do not take pills now, as I wish to overcome this; I find my self bored by everything, bored by people who are so much predictable, so I do not talk to them, never give the opportunity to engage in conversation. I am not serving a purpose, no one really is, except prolonging inevitable death; why not live life to the "fullest"? What is living life to the fullest? Life offers illusions and blindfolds to the truth of our nature, the facts that we consume more resources in a year than are replenished in 1.5 years. Human beings are a virus, an infection that consumes until nothing is left to consume, people live believing they have an importance, that root being often continuing the cycle of consumption with a new generation. I believe that when you die, you are at the end, or the end of what you feel is important. I am done, and completely feel that killing myself is not the best option, but it is not too far a stretch between hurting myself and others, tell me why I shouldn't?
(*I am not trying to make a threat, promote illegal activity, or whatever else you are thinking, I just want some answers on things that have consumed my thoughts, and now have consumed me as an individual?)