F
Forager
Guest
I just needed somewhere to post this.
Time to run.
It's christmas day, well it was a couple of hours ago.
Now it's 2.13am and it's getting time to run.
It's been getting time to run for quite a while now but I didn't realise, or accept it. No depression this, no short term imbalance in body chemistry, This is the real time. The time where I become me again, the time where I taste combat, blood.
For too long have I wallowed in this life that others have decided for me, that I have let them decide. No more. Soon, very soon, I run.
I've tried, oh God have I tried, to fit in, to be what they tell me I should be, to accept my responsibilities in modern, SPIT, society, to accept a life of banality, of normality, trying to be average. But no more. I need to feel the thrill again, the trigger under my finger, the grenade in my hand, pin out, just light pressure holding the blast at bay.
My mates are out there now, fighting. Nobody cares really but they fight anyway. People back home don't understand. They think it's all political and maybe at some level it is. At ground level though - oh the bliss. To stand, shoulder to shoulder with my true family and fight. To feel the heat and thrill of battle. To know I am making a difference even when nobody else knows I'm doing it.
Oh sure, I can keep my children safe with words and encouragement, and that is good. But for a guy like me it's not enough. I need to be there, fighting for their lives, their rights, their freedom. The only way I know how is with a gun in my hands.
Hey, Si - remember that drop we did? on my daughters birthday? We'd been on standby for 17 days and then finally we got the green. Nobody believed it really, it'd be scrubbed before we took off, but 2 hours later there we were, noise and adrenaline, getting ready in the belly of that C130. You remember the smell?
Heh - of course you remember it. You died on that mission didn't you? In my arms with a bullet hole through your chin. Yeah I know you winked at me with your last breath. You should be proud of that, it's given me nightmares for years and I just know you'd laugh at the thought. Kieth should be with you now though, colon cancer got him last weekend. Just do me a favour and don't get him started on the Thai whisky again will you?
No, I mean really, don't - you know what he gets like.
I digress. So, Si - for you, Keith, for you too, for all my other brothers living and dead - and above all for my beautiful children...
It's time to run.
Time to run.
It's christmas day, well it was a couple of hours ago.
Now it's 2.13am and it's getting time to run.
It's been getting time to run for quite a while now but I didn't realise, or accept it. No depression this, no short term imbalance in body chemistry, This is the real time. The time where I become me again, the time where I taste combat, blood.
For too long have I wallowed in this life that others have decided for me, that I have let them decide. No more. Soon, very soon, I run.
I've tried, oh God have I tried, to fit in, to be what they tell me I should be, to accept my responsibilities in modern, SPIT, society, to accept a life of banality, of normality, trying to be average. But no more. I need to feel the thrill again, the trigger under my finger, the grenade in my hand, pin out, just light pressure holding the blast at bay.
My mates are out there now, fighting. Nobody cares really but they fight anyway. People back home don't understand. They think it's all political and maybe at some level it is. At ground level though - oh the bliss. To stand, shoulder to shoulder with my true family and fight. To feel the heat and thrill of battle. To know I am making a difference even when nobody else knows I'm doing it.
Oh sure, I can keep my children safe with words and encouragement, and that is good. But for a guy like me it's not enough. I need to be there, fighting for their lives, their rights, their freedom. The only way I know how is with a gun in my hands.
Hey, Si - remember that drop we did? on my daughters birthday? We'd been on standby for 17 days and then finally we got the green. Nobody believed it really, it'd be scrubbed before we took off, but 2 hours later there we were, noise and adrenaline, getting ready in the belly of that C130. You remember the smell?
Heh - of course you remember it. You died on that mission didn't you? In my arms with a bullet hole through your chin. Yeah I know you winked at me with your last breath. You should be proud of that, it's given me nightmares for years and I just know you'd laugh at the thought. Kieth should be with you now though, colon cancer got him last weekend. Just do me a favour and don't get him started on the Thai whisky again will you?
No, I mean really, don't - you know what he gets like.
I digress. So, Si - for you, Keith, for you too, for all my other brothers living and dead - and above all for my beautiful children...
It's time to run.