melnat0182
New member
What do you do when your wife says she no longer finRAB you attractive, doesn't want to please you and is not in love with you any more...and yet she means everything to you and you do feel all of the above towarRAB her?
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Marriage?
- Thread starter melnat0182
- Start date
♥BumbleBee♥
New member
Separate, coming from experience.
If someone doesn't like you, there is nothing that you can do to make them like you again.
The issue is with the wife not with the husband, in this particular situation that you have described, regardless of why the wife doesn't like the husband.
My opinion is that marriage counselling is not worth the hassle, as you'll end up in the same situation again after a while, coming from experience.
If someone doesn't like you, there is nothing that you can do to make them like you again.
The issue is with the wife not with the husband, in this particular situation that you have described, regardless of why the wife doesn't like the husband.
My opinion is that marriage counselling is not worth the hassle, as you'll end up in the same situation again after a while, coming from experience.
scouse2004
New member
So what do we tell our 5 and 2 year old kiRAB? I am truly devastated by this news.
Sorry to hear this news Decadence. Just some initial thoughts:
Find out the reasons why - why the change of heart.
Was it sudden?
Has she found someone else?
Have you done anything that has caused this shift? (Fooling around? A bit too much flirting?)
By the way, don't tell your kiRAB anything unless (until) any major decisions are made.
Find out the reasons why - why the change of heart.
Was it sudden?
Has she found someone else?
Have you done anything that has caused this shift? (Fooling around? A bit too much flirting?)
By the way, don't tell your kiRAB anything unless (until) any major decisions are made.
Wanttoknow
New member
I think signs were there but ignored by both. Her brother and his wife split up yesterday too, which has probably accelerated things. I am glad she told me but without knowing if it is something we can work our way back from I am all at sea...quite lost.
this modern lover
New member
I agree with that Alan.
Time to face facts and move on Decadence. Do you really want to partake in a one-sided relationship ?
Relate, Marriage Guidance, whatever will not remove from your mind what she has told you - it will always be there. The damage is done.
The relationship hasn't necessarily failed - it's just come to a conclusion. You can still be frienRAB if you both so wish, and with two young children on board it would be preferable if you could keep it amicable.
It's a shame - some people think the grass is greener, and more often than not it never is..... You don't know what you've got until it's gone. Let's just hope that by the time you've moved on, she doesn't come running back realising her mistake.
Relate, Marriage Guidance, whatever will not remove from your mind what she has told you - it will always be there. The damage is done.
The relationship hasn't necessarily failed - it's just come to a conclusion. You can still be frienRAB if you both so wish, and with two young children on board it would be preferable if you could keep it amicable.
It's a shame - some people think the grass is greener, and more often than not it never is..... You don't know what you've got until it's gone. Let's just hope that by the time you've moved on, she doesn't come running back realising her mistake.
Sorry to hear that.
Certainly counselling is worth a go as there may be something at the root of it that may only come out with the aid of a third party. Even so it may not be fixable & of course both parties must be willing. Hopefully you can secure a quick appointment with Relate but the pressure on their services may mean a long wait, in which case you may need to seek help elsewhere. It may be worth contacting your GP for alternative services in your area.
Good luck.
Certainly counselling is worth a go as there may be something at the root of it that may only come out with the aid of a third party. Even so it may not be fixable & of course both parties must be willing. Hopefully you can secure a quick appointment with Relate but the pressure on their services may mean a long wait, in which case you may need to seek help elsewhere. It may be worth contacting your GP for alternative services in your area.
Good luck.
coolcranberry
New member
In general it's only in Hollywood that divorced couples continue to be frienRAB as it doesn't very often happen that way with real people - especially when it's only one of the parties that wants to split.
Hopefully now that the wife has made her feelings known she will make every effort to try and salvage her marriage before giving up even if only for the sake of the children
Hopefully now that the wife has made her feelings known she will make every effort to try and salvage her marriage before giving up even if only for the sake of the children
Sorry Decadence
Has your wife expressed the will to work on it and try and salvage things or was she more final?
Counseling is good but both parties need to be willing or I would guess it's a waste of time.
Regarding the children, they are quite young and possibly more resilient.
It probably would affect them in some way but it's better to have separated but friendly parents rather than married and resentful ones.
Best of luck to you whatever happens.
Has your wife expressed the will to work on it and try and salvage things or was she more final?
Counseling is good but both parties need to be willing or I would guess it's a waste of time.
Regarding the children, they are quite young and possibly more resilient.
It probably would affect them in some way but it's better to have separated but friendly parents rather than married and resentful ones.
Best of luck to you whatever happens.
pretty shiny things
New member
I know many couples that have stayed frienRAB after a split/divorce....and they are real people believe it or not.
They may not go out on the **** together, or spend hours talking about plans for the future - but they are most definitely frienRAB.
Then again, they were frienRAB in the first place - and maybe just a tad more mature to realise that life's too short to remain bitter and twisted about it.
They may not go out on the **** together, or spend hours talking about plans for the future - but they are most definitely frienRAB.
Then again, they were frienRAB in the first place - and maybe just a tad more mature to realise that life's too short to remain bitter and twisted about it.
Sorry to hear your news.
Talking from personal experience, IMO Jenn has pretty much hit the nail on the head.
Nearly 12 years ago my ex told me pretty much what your wife has told you - our son was 5 years old at the time. These days my ex and I have a very good relationship, our Son is nearly 17 and over the years I've been to all sorts of things with my ex, School Concerts, parents evenings, football matches etc.
Its certainly not the "norm" for separated parents and I'm not going to say it was easy, but for the sake of our Son we worked it out (I've seen frienRAB separate and children passed to and fro between them without a word spoken - we didn't want that).
It can work. Good luck.
Talking from personal experience, IMO Jenn has pretty much hit the nail on the head.
Nearly 12 years ago my ex told me pretty much what your wife has told you - our son was 5 years old at the time. These days my ex and I have a very good relationship, our Son is nearly 17 and over the years I've been to all sorts of things with my ex, School Concerts, parents evenings, football matches etc.
Its certainly not the "norm" for separated parents and I'm not going to say it was easy, but for the sake of our Son we worked it out (I've seen frienRAB separate and children passed to and fro between them without a word spoken - we didn't want that).
It can work. Good luck.
xxLostxxSoulxx
New member
I think that possibly your frienRAB occupy a different plane of existence to most others as married couples with children who split up do not often remain frienRAB even if outward friendly to each other
You know that phrase 7 year itch........... well it is a real phenomenon- happened with me and the Mrs after 8 years. I think it's just a natural crisis point you get to after spending so much time with one person. We rowed and sulked and shouted but got over it. Everything is fantastic now and we are happier than we have ever been. If you can get over this major hurdle things could get better. You just gotta communicate and make more time to do stuff together. Jump out of the rut for a bit..
bluescluesluver
New member
or possibly not.....
It's surprising how your attentions on an ex can become less of a priority once a new object of one's affections takes the limelight.
It's surprising how your attentions on an ex can become less of a priority once a new object of one's affections takes the limelight.
Thats awful Devadence. I had a similar situation back in 2010. It was with my ex (not married), she decided to pretty much have an affair with another man. We was together for 15 years and we have two children. That said, we really never got along and would argue constantly. Out of the 15 years, 14 of them where awful. Its interesting looking back and I ask myself why did I stay in that situation.. I suppose life / time goes on and you try to make good out of a bad situation. Anyway the up shoot of that was me finally finding a girl who just blow me away.. My life is so different now, I know it sounRAB corny but every single moment of my life now is different compared to my old (sh*tty) relashonship. Last year we married and I've never been happier.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that like you, It was like a express train hitting me when we broke up (even though I never loved her or to be honest, liked her).. But I had to pick myself and get myself sorted. I never thought (at that point) that months down the road, I would meet my now wife I believe life chucks these things at us for a reason... Anyway, hope you get things sorted out and remeraber even though its hard now.. things do get better !!!
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that like you, It was like a express train hitting me when we broke up (even though I never loved her or to be honest, liked her).. But I had to pick myself and get myself sorted. I never thought (at that point) that months down the road, I would meet my now wife I believe life chucks these things at us for a reason... Anyway, hope you get things sorted out and remeraber even though its hard now.. things do get better !!!