tigerphoenix86
New member
I am so conflicted. Really love my bf, weve been together for 2 years, and live together with our 3 kids (2 from prev marriage). he is really starting to get on my nerves though. I mean so bad im questioning staying with him. I really want to stay with him. but i dont think he is husband material. I'm a SAHM, untili can actually find a job. So, i am trying, but i've only had experience with fast food..and have become a mom at age 20. (i will be 25 in june)the things he does are disgusting, lazy, selfish,and so stubborn. He can be a sweet guy, but not often. disgusting:
does not wash his hands all the time, scratches himself, always has his hands in his pants(even with company over) belches and farts freely, talks about gross things
selfish: does not do anything to help at home, cleaning,etc., buys himself dinner (not me or the kids too), spend most of the money on him, buys/gets/does what HE wants, but if i want something even for the kds its too much. he wont give me money to buy things we need, or for me to do anything with the kids while he is at work..though he doesnt want to go anyway (i am low income so i buy the food with MY foodstamps, and the child support i do get (once a month) goes to the kids, or things for the house that we need that he never buys.
lazy: plays video games all day when hes not at work, does not help with the house( when he does its a half assed job) never wants to go out or help with the kids cuz it interupts his gaming, hes on MY computeer from 4pm when he is off work to 10pm at night..when we go to bed round 11pm. he plays his nintendo ds, or psp IN BED, has a low sex drive (at least to do anything with me) but yet watches porn on MY computer (and i told him not to.. i really hate it..and it makes me feel like im not enough for him) and masturbates even on break at work.
not romantc: i m and it is something i really want, but he doesnt even try. i tried talking to him about valentines day to make plans... he tells me its a stupid hallmark holliday, and a waste of time. ill be lucky if i get a card. usually on holidays or birthdays..i get nothing from him, though i give him exactly want he wants. and they r nice things. so damn selfish.
he never listens to me, things are very one sided ( i cook clean take care of the kids AND HIM) i try so hard everyday and with 3 kids under 4 AT HOME.. im struggling. have talked to him bout this and he said ok..ask e when u need help (then when i do... "can u feed the baby dinner while i make our dinner?""sure just a minute" minute turn into 20 min.. cuz he is gaming on my comp. so i do it myslef anyway.i want to go to churchbut it is hard with 3 kids..so i need help but he wont go just to help me... cuz he hates church and is atheist he made me feel like shit when i was pregnant with HIS baby. totally ignored me. but things are getting better. he says he loves me and usually cuddles with me every night in bed (thats our alone time). but what about all these other things? i am ready to sttle down.. maybe not now..but within a year or two. i love him and do anything and everything for him. but obivously hes not husband material. hes not even trying to get better.. were both overweight and havent finished college.. so i mentioned fixing both of these things.. but he says we cant both go to college and he hates school, and we will try to lose weight but when we tried before he cheated like hell...and after he was so exuaghsted he didnt want to do anything with me (sex) that lasted for a month. oh.. and it is also HIS house (were renting from his parents and though he does pay the rent, and all the bills..i buy ALL the food, and give him what money i have left of my child support, and i take care of the house) not OUR HOUSE.. but if i was lazy like him and did nothing hed kick me out. wtf. i really want to stay with him and marry him. but he doesnt care if we marry or not.."its just a title" and if we do.. eventually.. like 5 years from now. i can understand maybe wait until i have a decent job too... but wtf. just wtf. i wanted a man who would see and treat me equally.. this is the man i love.. but hes doesnt have hardly any of the values i have. what do u suggest?
does not wash his hands all the time, scratches himself, always has his hands in his pants(even with company over) belches and farts freely, talks about gross things
selfish: does not do anything to help at home, cleaning,etc., buys himself dinner (not me or the kids too), spend most of the money on him, buys/gets/does what HE wants, but if i want something even for the kds its too much. he wont give me money to buy things we need, or for me to do anything with the kids while he is at work..though he doesnt want to go anyway (i am low income so i buy the food with MY foodstamps, and the child support i do get (once a month) goes to the kids, or things for the house that we need that he never buys.
lazy: plays video games all day when hes not at work, does not help with the house( when he does its a half assed job) never wants to go out or help with the kids cuz it interupts his gaming, hes on MY computeer from 4pm when he is off work to 10pm at night..when we go to bed round 11pm. he plays his nintendo ds, or psp IN BED, has a low sex drive (at least to do anything with me) but yet watches porn on MY computer (and i told him not to.. i really hate it..and it makes me feel like im not enough for him) and masturbates even on break at work.
not romantc: i m and it is something i really want, but he doesnt even try. i tried talking to him about valentines day to make plans... he tells me its a stupid hallmark holliday, and a waste of time. ill be lucky if i get a card. usually on holidays or birthdays..i get nothing from him, though i give him exactly want he wants. and they r nice things. so damn selfish.
he never listens to me, things are very one sided ( i cook clean take care of the kids AND HIM) i try so hard everyday and with 3 kids under 4 AT HOME.. im struggling. have talked to him bout this and he said ok..ask e when u need help (then when i do... "can u feed the baby dinner while i make our dinner?""sure just a minute" minute turn into 20 min.. cuz he is gaming on my comp. so i do it myslef anyway.i want to go to churchbut it is hard with 3 kids..so i need help but he wont go just to help me... cuz he hates church and is atheist he made me feel like shit when i was pregnant with HIS baby. totally ignored me. but things are getting better. he says he loves me and usually cuddles with me every night in bed (thats our alone time). but what about all these other things? i am ready to sttle down.. maybe not now..but within a year or two. i love him and do anything and everything for him. but obivously hes not husband material. hes not even trying to get better.. were both overweight and havent finished college.. so i mentioned fixing both of these things.. but he says we cant both go to college and he hates school, and we will try to lose weight but when we tried before he cheated like hell...and after he was so exuaghsted he didnt want to do anything with me (sex) that lasted for a month. oh.. and it is also HIS house (were renting from his parents and though he does pay the rent, and all the bills..i buy ALL the food, and give him what money i have left of my child support, and i take care of the house) not OUR HOUSE.. but if i was lazy like him and did nothing hed kick me out. wtf. i really want to stay with him and marry him. but he doesnt care if we marry or not.."its just a title" and if we do.. eventually.. like 5 years from now. i can understand maybe wait until i have a decent job too... but wtf. just wtf. i wanted a man who would see and treat me equally.. this is the man i love.. but hes doesnt have hardly any of the values i have. what do u suggest?