maintaining late night composure

[myownself]

imagine a weathered stone
set in its years
exposed above the wet to the haggard breeze
for a lone walker of the stars
filling the street
with the clatter of feet
the weathering is a sound to rustle the ragged trees

his is not a lost composure
nor is it found nestled beneath his seat
it merely scurries
beneath red rock and peeling paint
beneath the conundrum of stamping feet
his is a steadfast grip on this moving earth
through the scurry of the herded flock
his composure claims him the world's newest saint
his demeanour draws him back once again


-------------------------

most of this was written at 4am after coming home blazed out of my mind

 

[mnp]

FILLIN DA STREET WIT DA CLATTERINZ OF FEETZ

part neeRAB to be tweaked imo, but i like! i like!

 

[Ginger A]

the filling the street...clatter of feet line? is it just lame as is? i thought it was decent but i dunno

 

[midnight_sky01]

dont pay attn to mappy


i really like this although i "think weather" is too distinct of a word to be used twice, esp in the same stanza

 

[Future Mrs. W]

thanks a lot man

i see what you mean about 'weather', i should be able to change that no problems

 

[firefly_for_you]

This is cool, I like all of the lines of the last stanza

 

[Sir Sandwich Slayer]

thanks a lot, it's appreciated. i reread this and i like it a lot more than i did when i wrote it, like you said, particularly the second stanza

kitsch, i've replaced the word 'weathered' in the first line for 'eroded', i think both are interchangeable but still that way it won't double up

 

[Bonnie D]

this is really good
keep em comin berkay

 

[Melina Ms. Paparazzi ♡]

thanks brandon

i got your email by the way, i'll try and get around to putting a review up asap