Lyrics I wrote, honest opinions please?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Rednavillosuroshenanigans
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Rednavillosuroshenanigans

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Verse 1:
Save my broken heart, tonight
Because daylight fails to seep through my eyes
Make the world seem all to bright
Through all of your and my lies

It seems, every day we break
My soul falters into your keep
And I could combust with every step I take
Now death, creeps in to claim its reap

Chorus:
So save my broken heart
Before this slope takes me whole
There is no catharsis for this part
Now everything seems simply so low

Verse 2:
You'd rather go against the wind
And look through my hell
I stand here waiting for a sign
And this time again I fell

Piercing air hits me hard
While awaiting my salvation
And it seems my heart has broken to shards
And I know... I must ask of my confession

Chorus:
So save my broken heart
Before this slope takes me whole
There is no catharsis for this part
Now everything seems simply so low

Bridge:
I run for the brink of the end
But I see I follow every drop and bend
It seems for now that this is how my life is spent
And my end is not pure for certain

Verse 3:
May the sun fall to end this day
May my home call for me to rest
But twilight is stunned and I am not okay
For when I lay to sleep I lay awake with detest

The foundation stands broken
Every ship I've lost at sea has sunken
I've lived this simply hoping
That I could retreat from my ruins

Chorus:
So save my broken heart
Before this slope takes me whole
There is no catharsis for this part
Now everything seems simply so low

Bridge:
I run for the brink of the end
But I see I follow every drop and bend
It seems for now that this is how my life is spent
And my end is not pure for certain

Verse 4 (half length of verse):
This has not been my intention
But I know all I can do is pretend
So I must stand to lay while you've gone
I know I can but don't know if I can

Outro:
- Chorus (sing in a way that it stresses it's the end):
So save my broken heart
Before this slope takes me whole
There is no catharsis for this part
Now everything seems simply so low

- Half of verse singing "ohhhhhhh" until end:





I'd love honest opinions. Thanks! :]
 
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