Love rant for FEMALES ONLY?

[jimmy39lv]

I am 44. She is 31. Long ago, we dated, but it didn't pan out because she just wasn't that into me. But now, we've grown into best friends & business partners. The problem is: I love her more deeply than ever. She's always known I carried a torch for her, and I treat her like a Princess every day. Ninety percent of men won't do the things for their lovers or wives, that I do every day for her. We text 25 times a day and talk to each other on the phone throughout the day. We are the first people we talk to in the morning and the last at night. We see each other 3-4 times a week and devote time to eachother as if we were a couple. In fact, many people assume we are a couple until told otherwise. Then they think I am a lunatic, lol. My children from a previous marriage totally love her and want her to be their mommy. She absolutely knows I yearn for her. Nowadays, when we are together, we PRETEND that I have learned to control my feelings and that I see her as a platonic best friend. But we both know thats a lie. Neither of us date others. I cant because I lover HER. She doesn't, I think because I insulate her from that a little bit, and she probably prefers it that way. Wer go out on "dates" as friends, but there's always the unspoken 800 pound gorilla in the room: I've loved her from the day I met her - she's my dream - I would die for her, and she knows it. But now it's been too many years. I can't do this anymore, because I'm just consumed by the loneliness of it. Its's very painful to love someone for so long who does not love you back the way you want them to. I have to say goodbye, but I can't imagine life without her. I know this is sick, but what do I do? It's so bad I just want to move away.

 

[julie]

I know how you feel. Unrequited love is excrutiating (I'm there now).
I think you should tell her exactly how you feel. She deserves to know, especially if you are planning on trying to live your life without her.
There's a good chance she's feels the same way - I wouldn't talk to someone everyday and text them so often if I didn't want more.
Talk to her, tell her how you feel, and decide what you're going to do from what she says to you.
I wish you all the best - I hope she feels the same.

 

[Shelby]

I am in a very similar situation. Finally I decided i was so agonized by it I would just tell him I couldn't hang out anymore and act like a couple because it was too hard when I really wanted to be with him. His response? "You should have told me sooner. I've wanted to get back with you for a long time."

Point being, have you not talked to her about getting back? It's damn near impossible to have that kind of relationship and have it be platonic. Sooo...talk to her, see if she feels the same way, but if you are in the "friend zone," then for your own sanity you need to back way WAY off of this relationship. You can never have a real, committed one when you are in the middle of this.

good luck.