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darkness within darkness
Guest
i am 16 and i love writing poetry though people in my school don't know because i am too ashamed because they think it is weird anyway here is an example of my poems actually i will just make one now for the internet...this one will be about my mums struggle with cancer and how she met her end...the clock ticks and tocks,we wait,
growing the pain,growing the hate,
she arrives pale faced,something is wrong
she sits us down,she has not long
months later,the clock ticks again
burden to heavy to carry age ten,
she is pale faced ,something is wrong
holding her hands,i sing her a song
ten minutes later the doctor opens the door,
he notices the tears and looks at the floor,
he checks her pulse then nods his head,
i check too, my mother is dead.
i call this one ''tick,tock''...
opps!!!im looking for criticism not really advice...but sometimes people include advice in their criticism.
growing the pain,growing the hate,
she arrives pale faced,something is wrong
she sits us down,she has not long
months later,the clock ticks again
burden to heavy to carry age ten,
she is pale faced ,something is wrong
holding her hands,i sing her a song
ten minutes later the doctor opens the door,
he notices the tears and looks at the floor,
he checks her pulse then nods his head,
i check too, my mother is dead.
i call this one ''tick,tock''...
opps!!!im looking for criticism not really advice...but sometimes people include advice in their criticism.