So I go to Christian school. But now it seems that's minor problem. Every LGBT ppl are bullied or faces problem this way or that in ANY school. You know I get that. But thing is I just don't want to be the only one in my class my school. (It's a small popularity school.) I was doing normal with school work, always struggling to see more of ppl like me trying to read what's behind of our ancestors doing when reading history. I can't help but feel leftout. Not the class not the present ppl but more like the history the world and that they-cis straight kids-have future but I might not. Idk. I really don't know. I'm not bullied. I'm left to do what I want to focus more. Teacher especially the principle has always been so generous about it. But here's the bottom line: I'm left alone to do my work. I'm a transsexual. But I don't mind what's on the outside. It's trifle but happening everday. I won't say I'm overwhelmingly stressed. No that's not true if I am forced I have plenty of strength to keep on going. BUT. BUT. Wanting something natural wanting pals who jokes about fucking man who shares the same fantasy about holding hands with their women (I don't mind FTM gays just speaking in my place 
). The skirts that is not it! It's the talk (and I'm literally screaming here craving to be understood by ppl around me) it's how the same bodied ppl as me talk their decoration them having crushes with boys. It's ABNORMAL. It's sickening. I'm not an ignorant idiot thinking my way is the only way but when I don't get to fucking see fucking interact with brothers I demand insensible things. Getting more aggresive thoughts...*
It's not I'm outta control thing, nope. But I sincerely don't know what to do. Principle thinks I'm lesbian cuz I told him I'd love to have a beautiful wife. This is another abnormality this exact situation of me who is teen can't talk to my teacher who is adult openly! Damn how stupid are they? I don't get cis ppl I never did I never will give room for them. (Well like I said. Just feeling emotional. My parents are cis they are willingly cooperative. But bottomline again I can rest under their protection but they CAN'T understand me.)
I can't believe I'm alive in this dreafully dieased body, but what's much more unbelieveable is existance of cis gender ppl. Their existance itself the concept of a human being not doubting their inborn sex, it's not in my brain. Never will. I guess.*
Anw I'm spilling things out. Not to have someone listen to me but to spread my idea so hopefully someone who agrees with me pick this up and we could talk. *Shrug* You are welcomed.
Anything curious will be answered with comments or so.*
My twitter: BluebirdJay2010
Hater comments I honestly don't know how to react but pretty sure I'll answer with honestly with honest swears that fits their title.
Question: So principle gave me 3 days off to do something anything that I think it'll work. Anything with PASSION. And before this week teachers and parents had a meeting concerning me not showing up in school and not wearing uniforms. (I have fair relationships with my fellow classmates and friends in other classes. It's everything but bullying problem.) I have cameout to my family a year and a half ago, lots have happend after that.
My country law keeps me from starting T yet I'm legally 18 only 20 years with 2~5 month with doctor can have T.
I repeat plz help me but it's really not about the body the outwards.*
It's about being with my ppl ftm boys not giggly pretty girls. It's about not missing the sports the funs the excitements with them. Dearly. I want that. This is teenage. It's normal to have that. In order to have that I'm risking suspension possibly kicked out from school too...*
I came out (as lesbian but planning to be open entirely) to my homeroom teacher It felt good. To be seen. Really. I doubt her motives are pure she already told me she'd recommend to have her religion but it's not entirely that. She has friends like me. Okay I'm gonna end this writing now. Anyone with or without help, plz leave me a comment. )
). The skirts that is not it! It's the talk (and I'm literally screaming here craving to be understood by ppl around me) it's how the same bodied ppl as me talk their decoration them having crushes with boys. It's ABNORMAL. It's sickening. I'm not an ignorant idiot thinking my way is the only way but when I don't get to fucking see fucking interact with brothers I demand insensible things. Getting more aggresive thoughts...*It's not I'm outta control thing, nope. But I sincerely don't know what to do. Principle thinks I'm lesbian cuz I told him I'd love to have a beautiful wife. This is another abnormality this exact situation of me who is teen can't talk to my teacher who is adult openly! Damn how stupid are they? I don't get cis ppl I never did I never will give room for them. (Well like I said. Just feeling emotional. My parents are cis they are willingly cooperative. But bottomline again I can rest under their protection but they CAN'T understand me.)
I can't believe I'm alive in this dreafully dieased body, but what's much more unbelieveable is existance of cis gender ppl. Their existance itself the concept of a human being not doubting their inborn sex, it's not in my brain. Never will. I guess.*
Anw I'm spilling things out. Not to have someone listen to me but to spread my idea so hopefully someone who agrees with me pick this up and we could talk. *Shrug* You are welcomed.
Anything curious will be answered with comments or so.*
My twitter: BluebirdJay2010
Hater comments I honestly don't know how to react but pretty sure I'll answer with honestly with honest swears that fits their title.
Question: So principle gave me 3 days off to do something anything that I think it'll work. Anything with PASSION. And before this week teachers and parents had a meeting concerning me not showing up in school and not wearing uniforms. (I have fair relationships with my fellow classmates and friends in other classes. It's everything but bullying problem.) I have cameout to my family a year and a half ago, lots have happend after that.
My country law keeps me from starting T yet I'm legally 18 only 20 years with 2~5 month with doctor can have T.
I repeat plz help me but it's really not about the body the outwards.*
It's about being with my ppl ftm boys not giggly pretty girls. It's about not missing the sports the funs the excitements with them. Dearly. I want that. This is teenage. It's normal to have that. In order to have that I'm risking suspension possibly kicked out from school too...*
I came out (as lesbian but planning to be open entirely) to my homeroom teacher
It felt good. To be seen. Really. I doubt her motives are pure she already told me she'd recommend to have her religion but it's not entirely that. She has friends like me. Okay I'm gonna end this writing now. Anyone with or without help, plz leave me a comment. )