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Lawyer joke : How many personal injury attorneys does?
- Thread starter Poppy
- Start date
S
SJP 979
Guest
More lawyer jokes :
Q. Why do so many lawyers have broken noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.
Q What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
A. Retired.
Q.What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A.The vulture doesn't get Freuent Flyer Miles.
Q.What is the difference between a dead lawyer in the middle of the road and a dead skunk in the middle of the road?
A.There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A. Cut the rope
Q. Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A.Take your foot off his head!
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only gets blood at night.
Q. Why do so many lawyers have broken noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.
Q What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
A. Retired.
Q.What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A.The vulture doesn't get Freuent Flyer Miles.
Q.What is the difference between a dead lawyer in the middle of the road and a dead skunk in the middle of the road?
A.There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A. Cut the rope
Q. Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A.Take your foot off his head!
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only gets blood at night.
goaheadnfireme
New member
LOL @ y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too funny!!!!!!!!!!!>>>>
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
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Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers.
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Q. What's the definition of a lawyer?
A. A mouth with a life support system.
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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car.
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Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
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Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A. The caterer.
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Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. Other lawyers look interested.
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Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
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Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
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Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State
A. Professional courtesy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the definition of a lawyer?
A. A mouth with a life support system.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A. The caterer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. Other lawyers look interested.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State