Lately...

T

taysean

New member
"It's making me nervous, how everyday feels the same" - 'This Heat' by The Sounds of animals fighting

Now, thats pretty much my life right now. I'm almost 100% ceratin that when/if a friend or 2 of mine who go on this site they'l recognize that i wrote it almost instantly. So yeah this chick dumped me, really just, for reasons unknown. "Dude just get over her don't let this get you down"

Let me tell you something, Leonard; its been like, only a few days. Fuck off. No i dont want to hang out. No i wont hang out with her just to fuck her im not like you so just shut up 'Friend'. God fucking damnit sometimes that kid pisses me off so much. About 80% of my friends are incredibly immature. No that doesnt count you tonio or ctan. dont worry, your fine. ok fuck grammar cuz im just so aggitated right now.

Yeah so a vast majority of my friends annoy the shit out of me and the few friends i DO have in school that are mature never really have anything to talk about and the one that does hates me because shes stubborn. isnt that a big steaming pile? cuz i was supposed to hang out with my Ex, the one who dumped me, and i didnt want to cancel on her because i KNEW she would cancel on ME. i just wanted to look like the bigger person. i just want her to feel a small fucking fraction of what im feeling right now. I'm like a bomb waiting to erupt and who knows what will set me off. so this one mature stubborn friend refuses to talk to me because she is smart when it comes to psychological things and can read people very well and knows what to do in what situation and i didn't take her advice. i said i was over my ex, which im clearly not. i want to lie to myself to try to convince myself im over her. guess i got too attatched.

Yeah so when she dumped me (which was over the phone by the way) i just spiralled downwards. i didnt know what to do i was speachless because this was just so, out of the blue. i just grabbed a staple and cut open the top of my left hand. arguably the stuppidest thing ive ever done. intentionally injuring myself. and if i wasnt so strong to fight stupid thoughts i would probably do worse shit this weekend. "drinking your problems away" came to mind for this weekend but then i openned my eyes and thoguht to myself " i wouldnt be any better than my damn druggy ex gf if i did that"

Even more bullshit; She told me she would turn straight edge. i was like " oh thats so sweet" ect. not really thinking shed go all the way, but now that shes dumped me shes planning to do speed, smoke weed, and cigs this weekend. makes me think she dumped me for the drugs. thats a real big sign of weekness and that turns me off. but something in my mind keeps comming back to haunt me, " But Jako! shes gorgeous and so nice and has such a great personality!" sometimes i just dont know what to do. iunno im feeling very vulnerable right now and anything else to piss me off i honestly cant say what i'l do next.

This was going to originally be a confession, but it just got too long and i actually want some feedback... what do i do? Please don't give me that " just get over her" shit cuz il just ignore your post if you do, i can't just choose to terminate feelings.
 
Ok cliche' but true, everything happens for a reason. She must be some stupid bitch that doesn't appreciate a good guy. All this means is that there is someone else out there that is much better for you so look at it as she did you a favor.
Cliche' again but true, time will heal all wounds.
 
Yeah i know that.. You are right she doesn't appreciate a good guy, I did any adn every thing for her, i even took her out as often as possible and called her all the time. I don't rush girls into things and i myself am straightedge. she said "I'm not good enoguh for you." If that would have been true I wouldn't have dated her in the first place. God fucking damnit i dont even know what to say.
 
(sorry about the grammer, the keyboards at school stick...the keys stick...i wonder why...)

I know how you feel Jako. People will give you shit like "yeah dude, shes a bitch move on" or "dude you're to good for her anyway" or "DUDE YOU NEED TO GET SOME PUSSY!!!". well fuck it. its time like this were people feel alone and one of the main reason we get mad at people is because we're confused about the whole girl shit and we dont know who to be mad at. the littlest thngs that happen or that people do is like...the worst possiable thing they could do. annoying if you will. like lenaord or whatever. he doesnt really know. ive talked to him abut girls and him, like us, has been hurt by a girl. now, as much as i hate to say this jako, theres not really anything anyone could say to make this up to you or make you feel better. this is just the way things are sometimes. no doubt its been a while since you've had someone. but truthfully i didnt think fligzz was right for you. she was to shadey. there was a lot you didnt know. theres a lot all of us dont know. the most powerful factor in this is you and time. only you can make choises to get over her and only you can make that happen. the one thing that ties in with you is time. it takes time to realize stuff or bring yourself to get over her. I know this isnt what you want to hear, but thats the way things are sometimes :| you shouldnt dwell on this. you have your whole life ahead of you. you still have the rest of high school to meet someone and even in collage. not to mention, you've always changing and learning. you have what it takes now to go out and acually ask someone out! Its all in a matter of time jako. you shouldnt worry about everyone right now. you need to focus on you. you have to put this in a different kinda way. like...ok, its like when you stepped on a pencil. lets say that the wound from the pencil is like this whole fligzz thing. over time your wound healed and now you have a scare there. when you look at it, you remember what happened. same deal. the point is. you healed from it, you got back on your feet and were walking again. now imagen that you were walking around like nothing happened while you had that hole in your foot. it woulda taken a lot longer to heal. just like if you dont focuz on the problem at hand, everything will take longer and it will be more compliated. worry about you then everyone else. i have more to say but i got 3 mins. ill talk to ya later. hope you feel better.

late.

ps. nice game of chess.dcc
 
Hm. I've never really thought about applying my "pencil through foot" story to this. Good analogy. Guess your right, i should take everything into stride and deal with everything. Think I'l talk to Lizz right now. Ok she's ignoring me.

Yeah but Leonard, today put his hand on my hair and I jsut siad "Fuck off." Him, never taking me seriously, was like "Chill out broi was just playin a joke n shit" as 'gangster' as he is appearently. God damn sometiems that fucking kid annoys the shit out of me. "Wanna hang out?" NO! DO I EVER?!

Another thing that's getting to me is how Lizz is all making plans and shit and not inviting me. She's mad at me for something that isn't even any of her business. Now more than ever i need friends.

There wasn't liek anything i didnt know about fligzz. She told me everything, every drug shes done, how she ended up living where she lives now, ctan i got the whole story.
 
Back
Top