Karl Pilkington- Favourite Quotes

[fjklabnfm]

Love him or hate him you have to admit he comes out with some crackers- with his new TV programme I'm sure they'll be ample fuel for discussion. Do people really think like this?

"They keep saying that sea levels are rising an all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science."

 

[Trank]

It seemed on the preview show they calmed down a bit, hopefully they will.

 

[Harrie]

Before anyone else gets in there, I'll do the main two:

"Treat the World like a head"

and of course the classic

"I could eat a knob at night"

 

[tarvau]

(on identical twins) "you always get a snidey one"

 

[Fluffy Hamster]

Too many.

On dopplegangers - "How would I know which one I was?"

 

[DBall]

does he still do the Monkey News?

Oooh, chimpanzee that!

 

[Bug Catcher]

I'm looking forward to An Idiot Abroad. I found the podcast tv show so funny. I don't really mind if he is a character, comedian or everything he thinks and feels is real, it makes me laugh the stuff he comes out with.

I love it when he says 'get rid of em' and 'I don't need it in my life'

I have heard a few quotes from the new show and seen the preview. I think it will be good.

 

[Yahootime!]

I could eat a knob at night!

 

[sparklyjenna7]

It would be spiteful
To put a jellyfish
In a trifle

Bubbled wallpaper, what a mess.
Washer dryer knackered, what a mess.
Siamese twins seperated, one leg less.

In fact, all of these poems are absolute gold dust. Karl may be a bit dim but as a poet he's up there with Milligan (seriously!)

http://www.pilkipedia.co.uk/wiki/index.php?title=Karl%27s_Poems

 

[munkismile]

Having been following the news on it since it was announced several months ago, me too very much so.

 

[FishAddict !]

You never see a Chinese homeless person

 

[manguy]

Too many great quotes to list, but any involving Auntie "split tennis ball" Nora, his dad putting a "Forrest Gump type" in a wheelie bin, and when he took a date to see Bottom Live must rank up there.

...and then we have ROCKBUSTERS!! "The quiz that nobody likes" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-YM5cEBerg

a meat tree an' that...

 

[JT!]

not bad! A whole 'wikipedia' devoted to him! Any other celebrities have one?

 

[cathy h]

I preferred Songs of Phrase myself.

"And you'll neeeeveeeer see and old man eat a Maaaaaaaaaaa-aaaars bar bar bar"

 

[Levi Hitt]

Maybe I need to watch more Tv as I have no idea who this man is. Am I missing out on something, what's he in?

 

[VICTORIA Joachim]

Looking forward to this series...In one of them he goes down the amazon and sees some Dolphins and says:

"They say Dolphins are dead intelligent and that, but I've never seen them do anything that's blown me away. Everyone says I'm Div and Dolphins are intelligent, it baffles me."

 

[kingleo]

Talking about the Pyramids in Egypt... "It's like a game of Jenga that's got out of hand."

 

[Katelyns expecting™]

I don't like jellyfish, they're not a fish they're just a blob
They don't have eyes, fins or scales like a cod
They float about blind, stinging people in the seas
And no one eats jellyfish with chips and mushy peas
Get rid of 'em

 

[donna p]

Having read the foregoing "funnies" I will certainly be giving tonights programme a miss.

 

[Carol R]

"We've gotta join BUPA."

"That my name was Brett."