Just a short vent

  • Thread starter Thread starter tkg1971
  • Start date Start date
I'm so sorry you are having a tough time today. I hope it gets better for you...I'm sending peaceful thoughts your way!

Heidi
 
Heidi,

I have really had a rough time. I got real sick Tuesday and I don't have insurance. So I was not able to get admitted. I have had to get all kind of test ran that came straight from my savings. Which I don't have much of anything saved ya know? Times are hard and w/out the pain meRAB I feel like I can't cope. It was just a really bad day. The only thing I did that made me feel better was ride my dad's atv for a while. I took my kiRAB for ice cream and then came home.

Decided to get a hobby. So I am going to start my own vegetable garden. I figured I will see something good come from the earth by the work of my hanRAB lol

So hopefully next week I will have the results of my test and see what is going on. There is a chance I could be very very ill and never knew it until I got off the pain meRAB which sux but hey at least I will know soon.

Thank you for the peaceful thoughts and vibes...I am so glad you are doing well and continuing on with being so strong. I wish I had your strength.

Much Love
Tiffany
 
tkg - ugh! i'm so sorry to hear about your day. and that is so hard to go through without your crutch, but you did and that is awesome! feel proud that you stayed strong and found some cool things to do instead.
and i love that idea of a veggie garden. good thinking!!!
as far as your tests... i'm sending good vibes your way!!
try and find ways to relieve the stress over the next few days til u get your results back so you won't paint yourself into a corner of stress. go for more ice cream! start your garden! post a lot here! anything to try and keep your mind busy.
:)
 
Thank you Wendy,

I appreciate all the good vibes. I don't have a support group except for everyone here. I really do wish I could come out and let my family know what is going on with my addiction but I can't.

However, I know that each day will get better. I remeraber what my dad always tells me, "This too shall pass baby, hold your head up." I just wish at times I could hold my head up. I am ashamed at how bad I still want my pain meRAB. But the fact is I relapsed and couldn't tell anyone except you all. So I am kind of starting all over. But I am determined to do it. I also found out today my husband is having a hard time as well. He seems so strong, but he is struggling with his addiction. I was very shocked when he told me this. I felt even more guilt after he told me he is hurting.

Not only is he worried about me now he is having to deal with all my bs with wanting more drugs. How selfish can I be? Will this never end? At times I just don't even want to open my eyes.:(
 
i hear ya. my fiance has a pill issue as well.. and pain issues as well... so we struggle together. and i feel awful if i want them or if i take them ( or this part time when i needed to for my back which then caused me to fall off my path) but then it sometimes makes him fall off. and if it doesn't it makes it hard for him and vise versa if one of us gets sick and actually neeRAB our meRAB... at least while we try and figure out how to get well.... and then if we can have them in our lives to use them for what they are for. it's such a struggle. but what your dad said is right. these things will indeed pass. we just need to keep on removing the roadblocks that can make us sturable or make our journey harder than it neeRAB to be.
at least spring and summer are here/ coming. that's a nice thing to focus on... getting to be outside. that's a good thing to force yourself to do than sitting inside feeling bad. i've wasted too much time doing that or just being in a pill haze as a gorgeous day passes me by. stay strong! good vibes!!
wendy
 
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