Francesca A
New member
I am beginning to realize I might have a problem. I want to lay it out in words, and seek the opinions of individuals who might be familiar with my issue, either from first or second-hand experience.
I am a 22-year-old female and I fight, a lot. I do not believe I have problems with anger management or rage, but boy, do I love a good fight. I fight most often with my family, which include my mother, father, sister, and two brothers. The fight will typically begin over something small that has made me angry. I feel the desire to make others suffer with me. I encourage the fight to escalate by growing progressively angrier. I do not throw things, break things, or hit anyone. I yell and purposefully lie in order to anger my current victim. Once I have drawn my victim in I will lead them towards their breaking point. I choose my words wisely, knowing what will hurt the most. I encourage them to fly into a rage, often they will scream, say foul words, throw or break something, or be tempted towards physical violence. It is at this point that I back down. I become cool as ice. I stop fighting because now I am watching. I turn the fight around by playing the victim. I accuse my family members of wishing to physically hurt me, of being psychotic, verbally abusive, or of having anger issues. I feign offense at the names I have caused them to call me. As they scream in my face I find myself fighting a smile. It's sickening. I find joy in manipulating the people I love into uncontrollable rage and subsequently berating them for their outburst.
When I am not fighting with my family, I enjoy arguing with others on the internet. I feel a rush, not from my own anger, but from causing another individual to become angry. After receiving the appropriate response, I play dumb, act polite and naive.
Despite the precision with which I enter into arguments, I do not feel in control, or at very least I lose all sensibilities and rational thought. Deep down I do not want to hurt my family, I love them.
Is there a reason for this? Does this type of behavior have a name? Should I seek the help of a therapist? It will surely tear my family apart.
I am a 22-year-old female and I fight, a lot. I do not believe I have problems with anger management or rage, but boy, do I love a good fight. I fight most often with my family, which include my mother, father, sister, and two brothers. The fight will typically begin over something small that has made me angry. I feel the desire to make others suffer with me. I encourage the fight to escalate by growing progressively angrier. I do not throw things, break things, or hit anyone. I yell and purposefully lie in order to anger my current victim. Once I have drawn my victim in I will lead them towards their breaking point. I choose my words wisely, knowing what will hurt the most. I encourage them to fly into a rage, often they will scream, say foul words, throw or break something, or be tempted towards physical violence. It is at this point that I back down. I become cool as ice. I stop fighting because now I am watching. I turn the fight around by playing the victim. I accuse my family members of wishing to physically hurt me, of being psychotic, verbally abusive, or of having anger issues. I feign offense at the names I have caused them to call me. As they scream in my face I find myself fighting a smile. It's sickening. I find joy in manipulating the people I love into uncontrollable rage and subsequently berating them for their outburst.
When I am not fighting with my family, I enjoy arguing with others on the internet. I feel a rush, not from my own anger, but from causing another individual to become angry. After receiving the appropriate response, I play dumb, act polite and naive.
Despite the precision with which I enter into arguments, I do not feel in control, or at very least I lose all sensibilities and rational thought. Deep down I do not want to hurt my family, I love them.
Is there a reason for this? Does this type of behavior have a name? Should I seek the help of a therapist? It will surely tear my family apart.