JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)?

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here's a couple

1) after a tragic accident debbie tom and steve were left on a deserted island. they got bored so they just did what humans would naturally do. after a couple of months of casual sex, debbie feels terribly and morally wrong so she kills herself. tom and steve were devastated but they just kept doing what humans would naturally do. after a few months they felt horrible!

so they decided to bury debbie


2) Q: which yr7 has the best body; brunette, redhead or blonde?
A: blonde cos she's 18


3) ELEPHANT: WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO BOOBS ON YOUR BACK???
CAMEL: WELL THAT'S PRETTY BIG COMING FROM A GUY WITH A DICK ON HIS FACE!!!

4) a teenage girl asks her mum " IS IT TRUE BABIES COME FROM WHeRE BOY PUT THEIR PENIS??" "yes" her mother replies
"FAR OUT" says the girl "WON'T THAT BREAK MY JAW??"

5) if you feel a little useless, offended or depressed... Always remember that YOU were once the fastest and victorious little sperm out of millions!

6) sperm1: golly gosh! im knackered! how much longer to the fallopian tubes??
sperm2: long while yet, we've only just passed the tonsils!
 
ok so here they are.

there were 3 men stranded on an island. all of the explore it and find a magic lamp, which they rub and find a genie. "Ah...Thank you for rubbing my lamp! You each will get one wish!"

the first man says "i wish i was at home with a cup of root beer." POOF! he disappears.

the second man says "i wish i was home with my wife and kids."
POOF! he disappears.

the third man got lonely so he said "i wish those guys came back!"
 
Clay Aiken announced today that he is gay.

In other news, the pope is revealed to be Catholic and evidence was uncovered indicating that bears sh!t in the woods...
 
Why did the ggirl fall off the swing???


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Coz she had no arms!!! ha ha ha lol lol lol love it...
 
Haha I LOVE the Clay Aiken joke...

Okay heres mine.

knock knock

WHO'S THERE

i eat mop

I EAT MOP WHO?

say the punchline out loud a few times if you dont get it.
 
Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side 'When
I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was
take off my trousers,' he said. 'I gave them to your mother and told
her to put them on. When she did, they were enormous on her and she
said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too
large. 'I told her, 'of course they're too big. I wear the trousers in
this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, we have never had
a single problem.'
Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got
Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his
trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on. Jill said
that the trousers were too big and she couldn't possibly wear them.
'Exactly,' replied Jack. 'I wear the trousers in this relationship and
I always will. I don't want you to forget that.' Jill paused and
removed her knickers and gave them to Jack. 'Try these on,' she said,
so he tried them on but they were too small. 'I can't possibly get
into your knickers,' said Jack. 'Exactly,' replied Jill. 'And if you
don't change your f *** ing attitude, you never will.
 
I know one i asked a question about if it was funny and it is!

A blond walks into a doctors office listening to a ipod. He asks her to take the head phones out shes say no i will die.And he says no you wont.They go on like this for awhile till she takes them off.Moments later she dies.The doctor wants to find out why.He listens to her ipod and hears Breath in breath out breath in breath out.
 
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