OiNeedAnAnswer
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What are some of the most hilarious jokes you've ever heard?
Here are some of mine:
A little girl just stands there on the edge of a cliff, crying. A priest comes along. He asks her, "Why are you so sad, little girl?". She responds, "My mummy and daddy went down the cliff there." As he looks around carefully, he begins taking off his robes, "This is just not your day.."
A short one: What is white, sticky, and goes 1000 mph across the sky?
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The coming of the Lord!
A longer one: (somewhat dirty) A little panda bear goes into a pros-house. He goes into a bed with one of the female pros. He begins giving her oral. Da pros. wakes up halfway. She is about to chase the panda bear away, but decides to let him finish cuz it feels so good. He finishes.. and starts to leave. W8, she says, "you didn't pay me yet!" The panda bear shrugs and continues walking out. She then holds up a dictionary. Look here! The panda bear comes back. She flips to prostitute, "Someone who gets money for services done with body" The little panda bear just shrugs and goes to the definition of panda bear. "eats bushes and leaves"
long one (clean): Two friends are out hunting. Suddenly, one falls to the ground, eyes fading. The other calls 911. The operator picks up. "My friend is dead! Hurry up and take him to the hospital!" The operator responds, "Wait.. chill out. First, make sure that he's dead. There is momentary silence, then a gunshot.
The friend says, "Ok. What's next"
(one to Sherlock Holmes) Sherlock H. and Watson are out camping in the stars. They begin sleeping in a tent. Halfway through the night, Sherlock Holmes wakes up.
He shakes Watson up and asks him.
"Look into the skies. What do you see?"
Watson responds, "I see millions of stars twinkling."
Holmes says, "And what do you deduce from that?"
"Well, if there are millions of stars, theres a very good chance that there is a planet like Earth. Therefore, there may be another planet that can support life."
"No, you dumb_ _ _ , someone stole our tent!"
Here are some of mine:
A little girl just stands there on the edge of a cliff, crying. A priest comes along. He asks her, "Why are you so sad, little girl?". She responds, "My mummy and daddy went down the cliff there." As he looks around carefully, he begins taking off his robes, "This is just not your day.."
A short one: What is white, sticky, and goes 1000 mph across the sky?
-
-
-
The coming of the Lord!
A longer one: (somewhat dirty) A little panda bear goes into a pros-house. He goes into a bed with one of the female pros. He begins giving her oral. Da pros. wakes up halfway. She is about to chase the panda bear away, but decides to let him finish cuz it feels so good. He finishes.. and starts to leave. W8, she says, "you didn't pay me yet!" The panda bear shrugs and continues walking out. She then holds up a dictionary. Look here! The panda bear comes back. She flips to prostitute, "Someone who gets money for services done with body" The little panda bear just shrugs and goes to the definition of panda bear. "eats bushes and leaves"
long one (clean): Two friends are out hunting. Suddenly, one falls to the ground, eyes fading. The other calls 911. The operator picks up. "My friend is dead! Hurry up and take him to the hospital!" The operator responds, "Wait.. chill out. First, make sure that he's dead. There is momentary silence, then a gunshot.
The friend says, "Ok. What's next"
(one to Sherlock Holmes) Sherlock H. and Watson are out camping in the stars. They begin sleeping in a tent. Halfway through the night, Sherlock Holmes wakes up.
He shakes Watson up and asks him.
"Look into the skies. What do you see?"
Watson responds, "I see millions of stars twinkling."
Holmes says, "And what do you deduce from that?"
"Well, if there are millions of stars, theres a very good chance that there is a planet like Earth. Therefore, there may be another planet that can support life."
"No, you dumb_ _ _ , someone stole our tent!"