Japanese translation? "if you ask me this whole thing is just a lame joke"?

[something or other]

please dont use babel fish..
I would prefer it if you spoke japanese..

 

[Kitano Kunikara]

if you ask me : watashi ni iwasereba (this is formula for the English)
a lame joke : tsumaranai jyoudan

→　watashi ni iwasetreba, kore wa zenbu tsumaranai jyoudan desu (dayo)

Good luck!

 

[Rinka]

'watashi ni kiitara, konokoto bakamono dayo.'