Tori ?????
New member
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a sonnet
by Victoria Tarrani
(c) 201011..15
She lay in the dark with tears in her eyes,
not a bruise on her face, no other sign
showed the pain in her gut, her rigid spine;
he brought her water, she took the clear prize.
Her lips, a ghastly semblance of her smile
as she quickly shut off her emotions;
at his touch, her mind escaped to deep seas.
She felt no pain; he took her for awhile.
He adored her more than the day they wed.
Flowers in her hair, lace around her dress.
Dancing, laughing she relished his caress
until he took her to the bridal bed.
He loved her sorrow while he showed who's boss
When he slept, she left, bearing freedom's cross.
~~~~~~~~~~~<>~~~~~~~~~~~~~<>~~~~~~~~~~~
I never seem to get a true imabic pentameter sonnet. This has been in the workds for over 5 months, and I am still unsure, I want to know what is wrong, other than it's not a typical sonnet topif, or does that matter?
a sonnet
by Victoria Tarrani
(c) 201011..15
She lay in the dark with tears in her eyes,
not a bruise on her face, no other sign
showed the pain in her gut, her rigid spine;
he brought her water, she took the clear prize.
Her lips, a ghastly semblance of her smile
as she quickly shut off her emotions;
at his touch, her mind escaped to deep seas.
She felt no pain; he took her for awhile.
He adored her more than the day they wed.
Flowers in her hair, lace around her dress.
Dancing, laughing she relished his caress
until he took her to the bridal bed.
He loved her sorrow while he showed who's boss
When he slept, she left, bearing freedom's cross.
~~~~~~~~~~~<>~~~~~~~~~~~~~<>~~~~~~~~~~~
I never seem to get a true imabic pentameter sonnet. This has been in the workds for over 5 months, and I am still unsure, I want to know what is wrong, other than it's not a typical sonnet topif, or does that matter?