crapsomebody
New member
...What do I do? I am a girl, in a very happy relationship with another girl. I started feeling a lot of sadness when my parents first rejected the idea of me liking girls, but it wasn't a huge deal to me. It's just that lately, months later, I feel like I am an enemy in my own home. Nothing has been happening, but I know if I DO mention anything that my parents will go back to yelling and victimizing me like they did before. However, besides this, I would like to say that overall they aren't bad parents. It just having to do with this.
Anyway, for about a month toward the end of the school year I started feeling really down. I would wake up feeling more exhausted than I was before I slept. I couldn't concentrate or eat. I had moments where I would just snap and start crying or yelling over the tiniest things. I was feeling achy. After a month or so I went to see a doctor about how sick and sleep deprived I was feeling, but she said I seemed to be in perfect health. After a week or so, I started feeling better.
Now, it's bad again, just like then. Worse I think. It hit harder and more suddenly--I had been spending the day with my girlfriend, when I just broke down in tears in her arms while mulling over a small issue I had wanted to bring up with her. She cared so much and held me, kept asking what was wrong, but I just couldn't speak--I didn't know. When she had to go(about 5 minutes later) I only felt more miserable, but she had no choice to stay since neither of us can drive yet, and I didn't want her riding the Metro home after dark. That was yesterday evening, and I haven't stopped crying since. I started sobbing because my cat hasn't come inside yet(he stays out for a long time so it's nothing unusual), and again because I forgot to give my girlfriend a scone my grandma had made for her, and again because I forgot to give her some sheet music she wanted.
I know I need help, I've known this for a bit. The problem is I also know that my parents will not get me help if I ask. My mom will want me to talk to her instead of some psyche, but I cannot talk to her about sensitive things anymore, since she rejected me 6 months ago. I try, but I can''t. And my Dad will think I just want attention. I'm also afraid myself... I don't want meds, and sometimes I don't even want to be happy.
I need help... I just don't know if there might be a way to help myself, or a way to get treatment without having to hand this issue over to my parents.
Anyway, for about a month toward the end of the school year I started feeling really down. I would wake up feeling more exhausted than I was before I slept. I couldn't concentrate or eat. I had moments where I would just snap and start crying or yelling over the tiniest things. I was feeling achy. After a month or so I went to see a doctor about how sick and sleep deprived I was feeling, but she said I seemed to be in perfect health. After a week or so, I started feeling better.
Now, it's bad again, just like then. Worse I think. It hit harder and more suddenly--I had been spending the day with my girlfriend, when I just broke down in tears in her arms while mulling over a small issue I had wanted to bring up with her. She cared so much and held me, kept asking what was wrong, but I just couldn't speak--I didn't know. When she had to go(about 5 minutes later) I only felt more miserable, but she had no choice to stay since neither of us can drive yet, and I didn't want her riding the Metro home after dark. That was yesterday evening, and I haven't stopped crying since. I started sobbing because my cat hasn't come inside yet(he stays out for a long time so it's nothing unusual), and again because I forgot to give my girlfriend a scone my grandma had made for her, and again because I forgot to give her some sheet music she wanted.
I know I need help, I've known this for a bit. The problem is I also know that my parents will not get me help if I ask. My mom will want me to talk to her instead of some psyche, but I cannot talk to her about sensitive things anymore, since she rejected me 6 months ago. I try, but I can''t. And my Dad will think I just want attention. I'm also afraid myself... I don't want meds, and sometimes I don't even want to be happy.
I need help... I just don't know if there might be a way to help myself, or a way to get treatment without having to hand this issue over to my parents.