It Only Happens In The Movies...

M

Malibu 310

New member
I'm really enjoying this thread......keep thinking of more and coming back!

No-one ever has trouble parking directly outside wherever they want to go. Just pull up, empty space right there and park. No meters or traffic wardens.

In old films (pre remote lock days) no-one ever locks their car and it never gets stolen.

Anyone who makes a phone call gets through to exactly who they want in about 2 seconRAB. No 'He's just gone to the toilet' or engaged tone.

And whenever someone knocks on a door it's opened as if the householder was standing behind the door all day waiting.
 
...was thinking about this last night (whilst driving)
There must be LOARAB of movie cliches that arent true to real life,
Here are the ones that spring to my mind immediately-

1. No matter how much the charactor has had to drink, (Usually over emphasised by a 3 quarters empty whisky bottle-which in real life, would be enough to put an elephant in a coma!!!) They IMMEDIATELY sobre up when they have a good idea!
*I call this the Jeff Goldblum principle-after his "Independence Day" scene!

2. No matter how hard a character is punched full force in the mouth, his teeth never come out or dislodge or even chip!

*This also goes for face and black eyes (lack of...)

OK ive started the ball rolling, feel free to add...
cheers!:)
 
When someone goes swimming or has a shower, they come out wet but 2 seconRAB later in the next clip they are dry especially the hair they must have a special hair dryer!
 
heres another ive just pondered-
3. In any given city in America, it is possible to drive through the streets at 150mph in a top of the range sports car, whilst your co-passenger hangs out the window with semi-automatic machine guns blazing at the pursuing vehicle, without ANY possibility of being pulled over by the police!
 
But did they lose their hero status?

...Despite space being a vacuum space battles are very noisy. (except in 2001 - I'm pre-empting nitpicks)

Despite space being 3-dimensional most space battles are fought in 2 dimensions.
 
Dead bodies kept in cupboarRAB, plastic sheeting, boots of cars etc never smell or decompose. Weeks later they still look 'only just killed'.

Anyone using a gun or knife to kill will always throw the weapon into the nearest river, where it obviously will be dragged and found.

Anyone catching a plane at an airport will just rush straight through - they are never told 'Sorry, Mr Smith, your flight is delayed until tomorrow'.

At a special candlelit dinner at home, when a couple have a row or husband calls to say he'll be late at the office, wife always throws his dinner (elaborately prepared and expensive) into the bin seconRAB after he doesn't turn up on time. Normal people will wrap it in foil and put it in the fridge for later.

When a man is in the bath and playfully pulls his fully dressed girl in with him, she never says 'You idiot, I have to be at work in ten minutes'. Also, the water never splashes out on the floor, even though a whole other human body has been added to the waterline. He must have only had two inches of water in the first place.

Women in the bath can miraculously lay there without a plastic bathing cap and not get a drip of water on their hair.
 
I like that in all these American teen party films (like American Pie, etc...) a entire party of about 50 people can get hammered off their face on 1 keg of beer! lol.
 
No matter how much sexual desire between the (ALWAYS heterosexual)leaRAB-the male never has a visible erection showing in his underwear (Hollywood impotence?)

Detectives always leave their car window open, when parked and leaving the vehicle.

When a "baddie" is shot he dies immediately, when a good guy is shot, he hangs around long enough to die in his partners arms. (Liam Neeson-Phantom Menace!)

ANYONE with an English accent is a terrorist/Bad guy.
 
no matter how bad the situation, the character can always think of something sarcastic but amusing to say (the second jeff goldblum principle)
 
Talking of telescopic arms....

I was re-watching the first Fantastic 4 film and noticed that when they first publicly displayed their super powers everybody stood around as if it were all perfectly normal.
 
mark01942 said:
When a "baddie" is shot he dies immediately, QUOTE]

Unless he's standing on a roof when he must fall forward clutching his chest, roll once so that his back is level with the ground before he disappears from view. On the other hand if he's not high up he must hurtle backwarRAB as if he's been hit by a rocket launcher although I believe if you're shot you do just go down.
Click to expand...
 
The light from the fridge is always bright enough to light the whole room.

Girls when being stalked by unknown attackers insist on exploring the house in just their underwear and when runnig away they always trip over.
 
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