hello_stars
New member
I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now (and we have known each other 7 years). We have a lot of history from when he was with his ex, and because of that I happen to know more than I probably should about their relationship. The biggest thing? Not even a year into it he got her a ring.(I initially thought it was an engagement ring, but I guess it was just a promise ring or something) I have brought this up a couple of times, with a pitifully jealous tone, basically saying like "why don't I have a ring?" (this has seriously been brought up like, twice). To top it off, this ring sat in his bathroom on a little Eiffel Tower statue throughout our whole relationship until two months ago when I mentioned to him that I am not okay with seeing sentimental things he got for his ex laying around like that.
Well, I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of waiting around for it because I don't feel like he will go to the effort of getting me a ring. Sad, but that's how I feel and usually my feelings are pretty accurate. So, I have decided to do it myself and ruin his chance. Kind of out of spite; statistically that's like .1% of the reason I'm doing it. 99.9% is that I really just long to have something between he and I that will be a symbol of our love that we can have forever (that isn't a baby). I have already picked out matching rings; nothing fancy or special, just a couple of claddagh rings. Their symbolism is most sentimental to me, and to our relationship, and I'm aware that this action is a bit passive aggressive; and I must admit that my intentions do involve him feeling a pang of guilt for not doing it first when the rings are presented. The whole thing isn't at all what I had always wanted it to be; I never wanted to do this, and I'm old fashioned so this is completely out of character for me. But I want to do this because I guess I need to get an idea of where he stands when it comes to the future. I know it sounds shallow, but because he hasn't done this for me when he did this with his ex way earlier (and they ended up together for 8 years) I kind of feel like second best. We've never had those future talks and I feel that getting us matching promise rings can be a way to put that into play, solidify our relationship, serve as a promise that we will have a future together. What do you ladies think about this and do you think that this could scare him off? Do you think I shouldn't do it with the mild intention of making him feel bad for not doing it first? (To put it out there, before I decided on promise rings I was actually thinking about proposing to him myself D
Any opinions or advice?
Well, I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of waiting around for it because I don't feel like he will go to the effort of getting me a ring. Sad, but that's how I feel and usually my feelings are pretty accurate. So, I have decided to do it myself and ruin his chance. Kind of out of spite; statistically that's like .1% of the reason I'm doing it. 99.9% is that I really just long to have something between he and I that will be a symbol of our love that we can have forever (that isn't a baby). I have already picked out matching rings; nothing fancy or special, just a couple of claddagh rings. Their symbolism is most sentimental to me, and to our relationship, and I'm aware that this action is a bit passive aggressive; and I must admit that my intentions do involve him feeling a pang of guilt for not doing it first when the rings are presented. The whole thing isn't at all what I had always wanted it to be; I never wanted to do this, and I'm old fashioned so this is completely out of character for me. But I want to do this because I guess I need to get an idea of where he stands when it comes to the future. I know it sounds shallow, but because he hasn't done this for me when he did this with his ex way earlier (and they ended up together for 8 years) I kind of feel like second best. We've never had those future talks and I feel that getting us matching promise rings can be a way to put that into play, solidify our relationship, serve as a promise that we will have a future together. What do you ladies think about this and do you think that this could scare him off? Do you think I shouldn't do it with the mild intention of making him feel bad for not doing it first? (To put it out there, before I decided on promise rings I was actually thinking about proposing to him myself D
Any opinions or advice?