Please read it all from top to bottom. Sorry that if it does not make sense.
For some reason I can barely remember any events happened in the past. It felt as if something terrible happened to me somewhere in the past that I just forcibly have the habit of forgetting everything that had happened to me within 2 weeks. Every time I tried to remember there's always this depressing presence in my head and I start losing concentration and go into my own zone being depress. My heart starts to ache. So I don't think about remembering it. But then sometimes when I am just doing something else or just taking notes depressing memories start popping in my head and one memory start building on top of another. I don't remember this but I know it because it happens to me a lot of time.
Sometimes when one of these memories pops in my head I started concentrating on it's dialogue and out of nowhere I started answering back out loud as if I was talking to myself. Then I came back into my senses and continue on with my daily life. But then I don't think it is sad but instead a feeling of regret.
Mostly when depressing memories started to rapidly build inside my head it is when I feel really depress. It have so much pressure on me it felt like the whole world is tormenting me. I know a lot of people of hurt me over and over again but I just kept forgetting ever being angry at them and just forgive them. I just started to close up on people that I started to hate humanity and stop trusting people more and more including. They say that you can say anything to your parents but my mother listens to only half of my story and my father barely comes home so I don't want to talk to him about it and my sister just complains that I just wanted attention.
Like the only person that actually comfort me is my best friend although I don't really tell him anything, but then just talking to him makes my heart lighted up from all those heavy pressures. But then during times when I felt really depress he was always there for me. I never have doubted him or even stop trusting him because I known him for 7 years and not once had he ever hurt me maybe the first time when we actually became friends was after a fight between us. Although we barely get to see each other we called each other from time to time. Not saying that I'm gay but he is like the only person I can depend on when I feel down.
By typing all of this I just felt a little better.
Thank You for reading all this if you did and if you can also answer my question and give some opinions toward this I would appreciate it even if I don't like it.
For some reason I can barely remember any events happened in the past. It felt as if something terrible happened to me somewhere in the past that I just forcibly have the habit of forgetting everything that had happened to me within 2 weeks. Every time I tried to remember there's always this depressing presence in my head and I start losing concentration and go into my own zone being depress. My heart starts to ache. So I don't think about remembering it. But then sometimes when I am just doing something else or just taking notes depressing memories start popping in my head and one memory start building on top of another. I don't remember this but I know it because it happens to me a lot of time.
Sometimes when one of these memories pops in my head I started concentrating on it's dialogue and out of nowhere I started answering back out loud as if I was talking to myself. Then I came back into my senses and continue on with my daily life. But then I don't think it is sad but instead a feeling of regret.
Mostly when depressing memories started to rapidly build inside my head it is when I feel really depress. It have so much pressure on me it felt like the whole world is tormenting me. I know a lot of people of hurt me over and over again but I just kept forgetting ever being angry at them and just forgive them. I just started to close up on people that I started to hate humanity and stop trusting people more and more including. They say that you can say anything to your parents but my mother listens to only half of my story and my father barely comes home so I don't want to talk to him about it and my sister just complains that I just wanted attention.
Like the only person that actually comfort me is my best friend although I don't really tell him anything, but then just talking to him makes my heart lighted up from all those heavy pressures. But then during times when I felt really depress he was always there for me. I never have doubted him or even stop trusting him because I known him for 7 years and not once had he ever hurt me maybe the first time when we actually became friends was after a fight between us. Although we barely get to see each other we called each other from time to time. Not saying that I'm gay but he is like the only person I can depend on when I feel down.
By typing all of this I just felt a little better.
Thank You for reading all this if you did and if you can also answer my question and give some opinions toward this I would appreciate it even if I don't like it.