all the same? THE UNSPOKEN SONG OF A LIFELESS HEART
Shall I recede, shall I drift forward and allow all efforts to diminish. Shall I save that which never was, or shall I leave it in the void.
I stand tall, feeling the wind of passion, mysterious and nearly uncomfortable. I feel it in my blood, every beat of my heart further inebriates me with this substance of feeling.
She brings this to me, and much more, the woman of my affection. Words don’t adequately describe what it is to be within her presence. It is beyond this existence of temporality. Her beauty defies my logic, as it seems to permeate the past, the future, and all in between; an infinite chasm, simply pure, elegantly white.
This is not an order of regular attraction; it is not a matter of a set of preferred attributes, not even in short. This is far greater than that, and much harder to dictate. No other woman would do, no other than her, no matter how similar, it is unexplainable, the attraction of this poor, hopeless soul to a vibrant goddess of existential rejuvenation. I lose myself in her beauty, and fall into ecstasy.
But all this happiness is but a facade, covering the more concrete underlying truth,
which is fatal to the heart.
This woman of unexplainable beauty is but a distant star, seen in all its glory when gazed upon, but never touched. She is on the edge of the universe, and trudges on with dissonance towards me. She loves not as I do. She has not that feeling I do. And she shares not the indefinable attraction that I do.
So my beautiful morning is shrouded in dark rain, steaming with disappointment. All I feel is the cold, numbing wind of despair. My world is filled with darkness, and my heart nearly broken, for the only thing holding it together is the faintest dream;
a dream in which I merely receive a glimpse of her.
My existence is drenched in black; I am weighed down by the essence of despair that surrounds me.
Time ticks away slowly,
slower yet,
even slower.
Till all movement seems to stop, nearly all thoughts of prosperity are lost, as I slide down onto my knees, cold and lifeless.
I fall over into the intensely motionless blackness and softly emotionless darkness. I lie within the darkness, and wait patiently, to be taken by oblivion, and than maybe I will be sheltered.
Sheltered in pure, unadulterated, indifference.
I shed no tears, for none are left, I lie dead to myself and the rest. My loss shall be in my own vain, I walk the valley of the shadow of death. I move no more, and my last breath is shortly unavoidable.
But slowly I’m brought up, slowly by some force. Slowly some of the darkness is lifted, only slightly. In my palm I see a light, so faint, yet so powerful.
The light, this hope, is minuscule at most, but it’s all I have left of this love, the last embers of the fire that was never started.
I hold these embers, bearing the burns for they are my life.
The pain makes me feel again, the burns tell of a distant future.
The last hope I have is in this light, a hope for change.
A hope for the woman of my affection to be filled with parallel emotions.
A hope that we will someday be together,
in the light,
in the happiness, basking in the sun.
A hope that we can live in the peaceful light.
A hope of a bright white beach.
A hope that love will find a way.
Till than I wait, day by day I wait.
Day by day I roll myself in the pain, motivated by that one shed of light. That light is the day, the day in which all suffering is annulled,
and I may walk together with her through the fields hand in hand.
Till than I’ll live in the darkness, in the evil prowess, in the absolute void of oblivion, trudging through the mud of despair and agony.
So slowly I move, I feel not but the cold indifference.
I see not but the faintest of light,
as I bask in this agonizing misery/
I keep moving forward,
fighting the powerful sadness,
while my heart sings the faintest song of the last light in the universe.....
Shall I recede, shall I drift forward and allow all efforts to diminish. Shall I save that which never was, or shall I leave it in the void.
I stand tall, feeling the wind of passion, mysterious and nearly uncomfortable. I feel it in my blood, every beat of my heart further inebriates me with this substance of feeling.
She brings this to me, and much more, the woman of my affection. Words don’t adequately describe what it is to be within her presence. It is beyond this existence of temporality. Her beauty defies my logic, as it seems to permeate the past, the future, and all in between; an infinite chasm, simply pure, elegantly white.
This is not an order of regular attraction; it is not a matter of a set of preferred attributes, not even in short. This is far greater than that, and much harder to dictate. No other woman would do, no other than her, no matter how similar, it is unexplainable, the attraction of this poor, hopeless soul to a vibrant goddess of existential rejuvenation. I lose myself in her beauty, and fall into ecstasy.
But all this happiness is but a facade, covering the more concrete underlying truth,
which is fatal to the heart.
This woman of unexplainable beauty is but a distant star, seen in all its glory when gazed upon, but never touched. She is on the edge of the universe, and trudges on with dissonance towards me. She loves not as I do. She has not that feeling I do. And she shares not the indefinable attraction that I do.
So my beautiful morning is shrouded in dark rain, steaming with disappointment. All I feel is the cold, numbing wind of despair. My world is filled with darkness, and my heart nearly broken, for the only thing holding it together is the faintest dream;
a dream in which I merely receive a glimpse of her.
My existence is drenched in black; I am weighed down by the essence of despair that surrounds me.
Time ticks away slowly,
slower yet,
even slower.
Till all movement seems to stop, nearly all thoughts of prosperity are lost, as I slide down onto my knees, cold and lifeless.
I fall over into the intensely motionless blackness and softly emotionless darkness. I lie within the darkness, and wait patiently, to be taken by oblivion, and than maybe I will be sheltered.
Sheltered in pure, unadulterated, indifference.
I shed no tears, for none are left, I lie dead to myself and the rest. My loss shall be in my own vain, I walk the valley of the shadow of death. I move no more, and my last breath is shortly unavoidable.
But slowly I’m brought up, slowly by some force. Slowly some of the darkness is lifted, only slightly. In my palm I see a light, so faint, yet so powerful.
The light, this hope, is minuscule at most, but it’s all I have left of this love, the last embers of the fire that was never started.
I hold these embers, bearing the burns for they are my life.
The pain makes me feel again, the burns tell of a distant future.
The last hope I have is in this light, a hope for change.
A hope for the woman of my affection to be filled with parallel emotions.
A hope that we will someday be together,
in the light,
in the happiness, basking in the sun.
A hope that we can live in the peaceful light.
A hope of a bright white beach.
A hope that love will find a way.
Till than I wait, day by day I wait.
Day by day I roll myself in the pain, motivated by that one shed of light. That light is the day, the day in which all suffering is annulled,
and I may walk together with her through the fields hand in hand.
Till than I’ll live in the darkness, in the evil prowess, in the absolute void of oblivion, trudging through the mud of despair and agony.
So slowly I move, I feel not but the cold indifference.
I see not but the faintest of light,
as I bask in this agonizing misery/
I keep moving forward,
fighting the powerful sadness,
while my heart sings the faintest song of the last light in the universe.....