Is this it??

[jinks66]

Hi all,

I haven't been about much in a while, but hello to the old faces and welcome to the new ones.

To cut a very long story, very very short, I'm now 8 1/2mths out of a second decompression surgery (and 13 1/2 mths from the first) at L5/S1 for a lateral disc bulge/herniation which was effectively causing a foraminal stenosis. To sum up, I'm pretty much in the situation I was before the first op, which is in some ways a relief cause it got really pretty bad in between the two, but obviously I'm not exactly a happy bunny. Symptoms wise, I can't stay straight backed for more than 5-10mins, depending on the day- be it lying down, sitting upright, standing or walking (before the last op it was about a minute or two, hence some reasons for smiling).

In February I had the final MRI (w/contrast) and was told by the consultant at the hospital that it was still totally clogged up there - disc material and scar tissue - and that that was it for me - surgeons would be unlikely to operate a third time due to risk to the nerve and creating more scar tissue. My surgeon in his follow up basically said I'm sorry, I've done my best, that's that, keep in touch...I don't blame him, there wasn't much else to say...

So for the last few months I've really been trying to battle on. Its hard. I know my limits, I try not to push things too much, but all too often do. If I take things easy, I get by fine. I feel like I've become an old woman overnight, accepting the general aches and pains without too much complaint. But if I push it for a few days, to get things done quicker at work, to avoid asking for help, to go shopping etc... then it sets me back for a couple of weeks - pain levels soar and i get really depressed. And that's kind of the problem, I've become entrenched in not letting on when I really am hurting, and finding other excuses for not doing things, so people expect more of you, and think you're slowly getting better, and that just gets you more depressed. I guess I feel like if I don't let on, then its not there - part of the reason I've not been on the boarRAB in a bit.

I'm just a point where I don't know what to do now, cos that strategy certainly isn't working. I haven't seen the GP since the MRI, but to be honest, I'm frightened of hearing the same thing again "you've just got to wait and hope the pain goes away, it happens with some people, we don't know why, it may take years". I know i should probably be trying to get some new physio somewhere, but I'm scared of it setting me back ...but equally, everything I do now, I'm slumped at the waist or bent forward to stop the pain starting up and I know that's really not a good thing either.

Och, I'm sorry for the really long post, but I've been bottling it all up for too long, and could really really do with some advice, some stories from the other long-term spinies out there...

Love you all,
Jinks

 

[ms_west]

Jinks, Hi!!! When I was reading your post, I felt like I was reading my story. I did the very same thing this winter, I just tried to plug on and act like things were fine and they really weren't. I also avoided going to see a new spinal surgeon. I now realize that I was suffering from severe depression. I think I was trying to accept things the way that the were and that things were not going to get any better. I also did not want for that new surgeon to confirm what my old surgeon was saying - failed back syndrome and failed laminectomy syndrome.

Well, suprise, I had a severe flare up and was forced by my primary to seek an emergency consult and guess what ?? I found out that I might have a REAL problem and be fixable so with that I say Hang on to hope and go get that other opinion. IF it does not work out, you are no worse off with you were to start of with. I only anticipate that your anxiety level will come down because you know in your heart that for now you have done everything you can to get better and there is nothing available for now to fix your back. However, that does not mean that later there might be a fixable option.

I hope that I have interpreted your feelings correctly and that I did not blab to much about me. I just want you to know that you are not alone and please come and chat with us. We miss you.

 

[Justoneofus]

Do try and return to therapy. I am not as bad off as the issues you are having, but still have some residual pain and nerve damage (very slight compared to many) but had a horrible flare up January and it lasted for I think 3 months.

I returned to PT and it turned me around and I am even more improved than before. I was about 85% improved after a long surgery recovery, but now am over 90% better now.

I am fortunate to have an incredible therapist who thinks outside the box and really knows the body so well, she has many things up her sleeve to working muscles that dont play nice and have gone dormant or have atrophied. Also stretching out those nerves, which helps less scar tissue from forming (in most).

Part of my problem was being reserved bodywise and thinking that I was going to hurt or injure spine by doing something. She actually made me aware of that fact, and since then, I now challenge myself and I am doing things I never thought I would be able to do again in terms of movement and flexibility. I couldnt be happier!

So it's worth a try and see if they too can get you into a better place as well.

 

[jinks66]

Thanks for those worRAB guys,

I guess you've just confirmed what I know myself...not to give in just yet.
I found it interesting what you said about the physiotherapy and stretching the nerve. I know I have to start building up some muscle strength but was frightened of aggravating the nerve too much. Maybe it'll help in the long-term. I guess its time to visit the GP at least and push to find a good physio...there's just so many cranks out there.

Don't get me wrong compared to so many I do okay day-to-day. Just aches and pains but nothing too severe. But its just the days when I try to do certain things it sets me back. and those things aren't out-of-ordinary lifting/physical things...just like shopping in the supermarket, going for a walk in the park then looking for a restaurant in the evening...If I push it til it hurts more than a couple of times in a day, thats me for a few days...back to managing only a couple of minutes before the pain kicks in with a whole load of muscle pain on top because the back just isn't used to it.

Time to start asking about for 2nd opinions on the problem, what I can do to help it, if there's any other treatments, physio etc... it all seems quite daunting again!

I'm now going to have a browse round the old posts so I can catch up on your stories...forgive me, yesterday it about had me in tears when I tried...

Take care
Jinks

 

[ms_west]

Jinks, I have missed you tremendously and am saddened that you are back again.

I think taking that step to finding out what is wrong is a good thing. This latest surgeon I have talked to was so informative and he told me that as soon as I can get my pool up and running - I need for the weather to cooperate - he wants me into the pool for at least 40 minutes to 60 minutes a day in the deep end walking. Basically he is saying what Justoneofus has said, stretching those muscles and nerves is so very important. This is so different from the school of thought of my other surgeon. He basically said if it hurts don't do it. Well we see how that has gotten me far. So for now, I will try his way even if it hurts. He even said it would hurt like heck but I must make myself do it.

Our back carries so much weight that we often don't realize until we hurt it how the simpliest things in life can cause us so much pain and achiness.
Take care of yourself, know that we are here for you, and that we anxiously await to find out what is wrong. Who knows maybe just maybe you might find that specific exercises or stretch that will help relieve this lateset discomfort.

God Bless.