is this good poetry...i mean i need an opinion on my writing..and possibly some

[xiBLeedMascarax]

ideas...anyone? as i sit here
while he stands, watching me look up with agony
tears run down his cheeks

as i pray
while he walks
i stand up and grab him
tears run down his cheeks

as i sit here
now he's gone
watching me from a different view
tears run down his cheeks

as i beg and as i plead
for him to only come back to me
i feel him by my side once more
his cheeks now dry and clean.
____________________________________

i really need an HONEST opinion...
and maybe some ideas? thanks

 

[twicrack]

ummm....its okay =]]]]

i mean its not the best...its choppy =(

but out of 5, and 5 being best i give it a 3
=]]]]