A
antaliarodricks91
Guest
If your partner behaves in certain manner and your perception about it is true to your knowledge. But later on, your partner dismisses it by saying 'its your presumption and I did not mean it that way". If your partner makes you believe like this on almost everything he does, would it shake up your self-confidence and confuse your personality? Does it mean he is playing a mind game to confuse you and does not want to reveal his real intentions to you?
My husband has a nature of behaving like what I expressed above. I will state some example to you which may help you highlight the reply.
Situation 1:
He is in the bedroom counting money (lot of it) and when I suddenly enter the bedroom, my reaction is 'wow..when did you get that?'...my reaction is an innocent one and just out of curiosity I ask him. His reply is a very shrude reply "none of your business". I keep quiet. My mind tells me something is incorrect in his way of behaviour. I keep quiet for few days and try to bring up the topic to clarify in my mind that he behaved that way because of ..what? So, I politely ask him that I need to talk and I start the conversation. And he replies "are you stuck on that till now? why do you drag things?". But no clarification given. Then again after few days, I tell him that its botherin me so I need some clarification and he says "you are after my money and why dont you just stop nagging about it". And then, I forget about the issue. Badly hurt though. Later in life, some trust issues come up. I bring up that old-mugged up feeling and tell him about how I felt at that time. And he reponds "oh...I never behaved that way. and may be its your presumption that I did. Well, you only presume things and cannot see things in its real light". So, he kind of puts off the whole issue blaming me for a misunderstanding which supposedly 'i created'. I am confused on the whole issue by thinking "maybe, i m wrong!"
Second incident:
We need to plan a kid. I am on my highest fertility (xx days). I tell him, darling, if we work out tonight or within these few days, we have good chances to conceive. He altogether ignores the whole thing. First night, he works till late (5 am) and does not come inside the bedroom. Second night, he is too busy studying so he has no time for sex. Third night, we have an arguement and naturally, he sleeps on the sofa (his regular habit). He does not tell me clearly that he does not want a kid now but ignores me. this has happened few times already (few consecutive months). Then, finally, when I burst out saying he is not taling frankly with me and does not want to reveal his real intentions to me, he says 'you are imagining things. its your presumption that I do not need a kid. I need one. Its only that YOU dont deserve one".
Would above incidents make you mad? Would above incidents make you belive that something is not right with the partner?
I belive in a frank and honest relationship. but have been treated the above way in many situations. Above are only 2 . I face similar incidences almost every day. and when I am angry, its only me to blame coz he feels I do not nkow how to handle a relationship, or him or myself. so, putting the blame on me for all wrong.
Please give me your opinion based on above two incidences if my spouse is playing a mind game with me or what?
My husband has a nature of behaving like what I expressed above. I will state some example to you which may help you highlight the reply.
Situation 1:
He is in the bedroom counting money (lot of it) and when I suddenly enter the bedroom, my reaction is 'wow..when did you get that?'...my reaction is an innocent one and just out of curiosity I ask him. His reply is a very shrude reply "none of your business". I keep quiet. My mind tells me something is incorrect in his way of behaviour. I keep quiet for few days and try to bring up the topic to clarify in my mind that he behaved that way because of ..what? So, I politely ask him that I need to talk and I start the conversation. And he replies "are you stuck on that till now? why do you drag things?". But no clarification given. Then again after few days, I tell him that its botherin me so I need some clarification and he says "you are after my money and why dont you just stop nagging about it". And then, I forget about the issue. Badly hurt though. Later in life, some trust issues come up. I bring up that old-mugged up feeling and tell him about how I felt at that time. And he reponds "oh...I never behaved that way. and may be its your presumption that I did. Well, you only presume things and cannot see things in its real light". So, he kind of puts off the whole issue blaming me for a misunderstanding which supposedly 'i created'. I am confused on the whole issue by thinking "maybe, i m wrong!"
Second incident:
We need to plan a kid. I am on my highest fertility (xx days). I tell him, darling, if we work out tonight or within these few days, we have good chances to conceive. He altogether ignores the whole thing. First night, he works till late (5 am) and does not come inside the bedroom. Second night, he is too busy studying so he has no time for sex. Third night, we have an arguement and naturally, he sleeps on the sofa (his regular habit). He does not tell me clearly that he does not want a kid now but ignores me. this has happened few times already (few consecutive months). Then, finally, when I burst out saying he is not taling frankly with me and does not want to reveal his real intentions to me, he says 'you are imagining things. its your presumption that I do not need a kid. I need one. Its only that YOU dont deserve one".
Would above incidents make you mad? Would above incidents make you belive that something is not right with the partner?
I belive in a frank and honest relationship. but have been treated the above way in many situations. Above are only 2 . I face similar incidences almost every day. and when I am angry, its only me to blame coz he feels I do not nkow how to handle a relationship, or him or myself. so, putting the blame on me for all wrong.
Please give me your opinion based on above two incidences if my spouse is playing a mind game with me or what?