Caitlyn Rouge
New member
Okay, so the whole story is about a girl who for some reason wakes up in the Underworld and must escape before the evil ghosts, demons,etc. get her. This blurb took about 5 minutes and I am 16 so critique/suggest/edit knowing that...
I opened my eyes and sat up. Looking around me I saw I was in the middle of a field of tall,blood red grass filled with dead trees. Clearly I wasn't at home. But where was Home? Where was I? More importantly WHO was I? Okay, that's freaky I don't know who I am. Then, standing up, I see people coming at me, but not normal people, no, not at all. They were flying people made of mist.
P.S. Again I took only five minutes on this and plan on editing.
@Mrs. U: Well I asked my brother, mom and dad and they said it rocked but I wanted critque from reading addaicts or authors, gosh and only planned on editing if someone gave me something TO edit which I thought someone would.
I opened my eyes and sat up. Looking around me I saw I was in the middle of a field of tall,blood red grass filled with dead trees. Clearly I wasn't at home. But where was Home? Where was I? More importantly WHO was I? Okay, that's freaky I don't know who I am. Then, standing up, I see people coming at me, but not normal people, no, not at all. They were flying people made of mist.
P.S. Again I took only five minutes on this and plan on editing.
@Mrs. U: Well I asked my brother, mom and dad and they said it rocked but I wanted critque from reading addaicts or authors, gosh and only planned on editing if someone gave me something TO edit which I thought someone would.