is this an ok beginning for college application essay?

  • Thread starter Thread starter lalalaliu
  • Start date Start date
L

lalalaliu

Guest
Growing up, I was never really intrigued by the wonders of science. Yes, the sky was blue, but who cared? My attitude towards the topic hindered my ability to observe what science had to offer me. However, after studying Earth Science in eighth grade, I became fascinated by how scientists were able to measure the Earth’s age through radioactive dating and how they could detect when an earthquake was about to strike a local area. It was then, when my science teacher first introduced us to the nature of the subject, did I then realize that I wanted to pursue a career in science.

it's for the uc prompt #2
 
I think it's very well written! The ONLY thing I saw was this:

"did I then realize that I wanted to pursue a career in science." Take out "then" since you already said it earlier in the sentence. :]

Great job though!
 
Back
Top