Is this a good speech?

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im in year 8 and i have to do a public speaking thing. I have done my speech but im not sure if its ok or not! What do u think?

Walk a mile in my shoes.

Let me start by saying I have no shoes to walk in. with that now Im mind how do you think walking a mile feels for me?
Painful, hard and scary. In my neighbour-hood you have to keep all of your wits about you. To walk a mile, you have to walk on dirt, glass, food, bullet casing and other unimaginable objects. Just think, they are only a few of the objects under foot each day!
Each day I trudge up and down a filthy dirt path. Why you may think. Why would a child do this, but of course it is part of my job. My job is to deliver food and goods to buyers. With a poor wage and not much money to cater for my family I am forced to work 17 hours a day, as a young slave missing out on my childhood. Unlike other children whose parents have enough money to cater for their families, I have to work and pay for my family. I am the only daughter out of 5 therefore getting this job. In the spare 7 hours of the day that I have, I get to sleep, eat (whatever I can find), and shower ( if the boss allows it).
I am sometimes forced to do things that I wish not to do. Around 7 months ago I fell pregnant but am still forced to do the things I have always done, even in this condition. No days are allowed to be taken off, no days to be taken off for maternity leave. Sometimes I feel like I’m dreaming. Having a nightmare. But then I am forced to believe and realise the truth. A truth of no help, pain, misfortune
And slavery.

This is, as we speak a Childs life in a fore country. We need to get children, like this young girl help. Making poverty history is just one foundation that tries to make a change. A difference. No matter how small or how insignificant it may be, all of it
is working towards change. A change that really needs to be made. I hope this has changed something about the way you think about making poverty history.
 
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