S
sundancer_live
Guest
It kind of takes place when juliet is 'dead' and romeo kills himself. I sort of made it seem like what would have happened if Juliet saw the whole thing from her 'dead' position. Please comment on grammer, punctuation and how I can generally make it beter. Thankyou!!!
Why so sad?
Your brow is creased,
Your eyes filled with tears.
You look so sad.
Why?
I’m right here and I love you still.
Everything is fine,
No. Lovely, with you here beside me.
But yet you moan, and cry.
Why?
You lay yourself down next to me,
And hug me like I’m far away.
But I’m here!
Oh, if only I could hold you back.
If only I could comfort your grief.
Death you say?
I’m not dead!
I look the same because I am alive!
Romeo! I love you!
If only I could kiss you back.
Don’t do it.
I’m alive, believe me.
And if you can not hear me,
Believe my alive face!
Can you not see?
Don’t drink it!
I love thee and I’m here!
I’m not dead! I scream,
Yet you pour it in your mouth and swallow.
Oh, leave some poison for me at least!
And so my sweet Romeo, you die,
And I die with you yet still condemned to live!
Oh happy dagger! I will be thy new sheath.
It'd be nice if you could suggest a title.
I'm thinking of
Juliet's Torture or The torment of Juliet.
or Not Dead
Why so sad?
Your brow is creased,
Your eyes filled with tears.
You look so sad.
Why?
I’m right here and I love you still.
Everything is fine,
No. Lovely, with you here beside me.
But yet you moan, and cry.
Why?
You lay yourself down next to me,
And hug me like I’m far away.
But I’m here!
Oh, if only I could hold you back.
If only I could comfort your grief.
Death you say?
I’m not dead!
I look the same because I am alive!
Romeo! I love you!
If only I could kiss you back.
Don’t do it.
I’m alive, believe me.
And if you can not hear me,
Believe my alive face!
Can you not see?
Don’t drink it!
I love thee and I’m here!
I’m not dead! I scream,
Yet you pour it in your mouth and swallow.
Oh, leave some poison for me at least!
And so my sweet Romeo, you die,
And I die with you yet still condemned to live!
Oh happy dagger! I will be thy new sheath.
It'd be nice if you could suggest a title.
I'm thinking of
Juliet's Torture or The torment of Juliet.
or Not Dead