Hi,
I'm 12 years old and I wrote this descriptive writing project for my school and I wanted to know what you guys thought of it. If you have any ideas about things I should add to it I would love to hear them!
An Egret sat on a rock in the middle of a river. He lifted his paper white wings shaking off drops of water that caught and reflected the brilliant pink shades of the sunset behind him. Bending in concentration looking for his next meal beneath the surface of the clear, ice blue running water that lapped gently against the rock, sunflower yellow feet curling and uncurling in anticipation. A salmon darted beneath the surface of the river unknowing of its coming death. The scales on its back reflected pink and green catching the last rays of sunlight as the slipped beneath the horizon. The muscles in the Egrets neck tensed up as his head dove beneath the surface coming back up with his glistening prize in his jaws. Writhing as the last bit of life slipped from the salmon disappearing along with the sunset leaving light blue mist to slowly fade to deep onyx of night.
Lauren
I'm 12 years old and I wrote this descriptive writing project for my school and I wanted to know what you guys thought of it. If you have any ideas about things I should add to it I would love to hear them!
An Egret sat on a rock in the middle of a river. He lifted his paper white wings shaking off drops of water that caught and reflected the brilliant pink shades of the sunset behind him. Bending in concentration looking for his next meal beneath the surface of the clear, ice blue running water that lapped gently against the rock, sunflower yellow feet curling and uncurling in anticipation. A salmon darted beneath the surface of the river unknowing of its coming death. The scales on its back reflected pink and green catching the last rays of sunlight as the slipped beneath the horizon. The muscles in the Egrets neck tensed up as his head dove beneath the surface coming back up with his glistening prize in his jaws. Writhing as the last bit of life slipped from the salmon disappearing along with the sunset leaving light blue mist to slowly fade to deep onyx of night.
Lauren